Woman shares powerful note to men about stepping up to help in humility instead of making it an ego project

We may have come across instances where women have asked men for help, particularly with physically heavy tasks, and men, while rushing to help, also took the chance to gloat about it. The most important factor they miss when pride overrides kindness is simply being human. A mom named Trish shared a powerful post to all men to be more mindful about their intent when they step in to help and put aside their misogyny. Recalling an instance where she had to call her husband for assistance, her December 7 post mentioned how he showed up like a gentleman instead of a toxic alpha male.

The mom mentioned that she was on her way to run an errand when her car stopped. “My first thought wasn’t to call my husband,” she wrote. Due to previous trauma, she wanted to prove to herself that she could be independent and figure it out. “For a long time, asking for help only led to being yelled at, belittled, or made to feel stupid over a simple mistake. Those reactions get wired into you. They don’t leave easily,” she recalled. However, with her kids with her, helpless and stranded, she knew she had to choose an option in their best interest. It was not about her but them, too. “I knew I couldn’t fix this one on my own,” she said, adding that she gathered all the courage and humility to call her husband.

As soon as he picked up, his first statement was, “Are you ok?” She explained the situation to him, and he assured her he would be right over. “No anger. No attitude. No disappointment. Just calm. Just care,” she wrote. Trish was still uneasy about the fact that she had to ask for help. She felt defeated up to the point that even when he arrived, she thought she would first get an earful or be made to feel helpless. But he didn’t. The man, ever so calmly, arrived and got the job done without asking questions or yelling accusations. “He filled my tank, knocked gently on my window, and said, ‘It’s getting windy out here. Make sure you grab a coat for you and the kids when you get home, okay?” the mom recalled. 

Man gently kisses woman's forehead as she seeks comfort. (Representative Image Source: Pexels | Photo by Gustavo Fring)

Her husband went on to kiss her, got into his car, and left. Still no questions, no blame, no sighs and frustrations. That moment felt relieving. Though shocking, it was assuring. Writing for Medium, Julie Ingel, an Integrative Theorist, revealed that women and vulnerable people often have to pay the price for a man’s ego. Being accustomed to the idea of superiority, men feel the need to establish themselves over others constantly. In the bargain, they forget to pay heed to the problem at hand and neglect what the person is feeling or going through. Being so caught up with being the smart or better one, they forget that there’s something greater to pay attention to. 

 “If a woman calls you for help, do not turn her vulnerability into your ego trip. When a woman reaches out in a moment like that, don’t take it as a chance to lecture her or tear her down but instead show up and show her what real men are made of!” the mom pleaded. She concluded, “A mistake is never an excuse to power-trip her. Moments like this change who we become and it stays with us forever.” Many agreed with the mom’s perspective. Jeanne Stover Knatcher wrote, “This made me cry because I know that experience of mean men and their need to humiliate.” Stacy O’Neil added, “I felt this... getting past it requires a man to show you the way you should have been treated all along.” 

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