Reddit user ThatsDrAardvarkToYou came up with an amusing scheme to get back at her greedy aunts, uncles and cousins.
Reddit user ThatsDrAardvarkToYou recently entertained fellow Reddit users with an entertaining story of how she decided to teach her greedy family members a lesson after it was revealed that her late millionaire father left her in charge of executing his will. "So in December, my extremely wealthy father passed away, leaving a trophy wife widow with a daughter from her previous marriage, me and my older brother, as well as lots of my aunts, cousins, etc behind," the 27-year-old began her post. "Now my father was not a good person by any stretch of the imagination—he was a vain, selfish braggart who liked to flex his money on others. Nasty, I know. He wasn't a good father either. After he passed, there was some kerfuffle until his will was found and properly verified. Soooo much shit was flung in this period already, it was insane."
The Reddit user shared that she and her brother were bombarded with phone calls from "'concerned' family members after my dad's money," even before the will was found and verified. She cited one particular incident to demonstrate how bad it was: "My brother took (with permission) a laptop of my father's to help sort some documents etc and no less than 3 people called him accusing him of stealing from his inheritance, over a laptop worth MAYBE 2k at best. Epic family, right?" u/ThatsDrAardvarkToYou also explained that she'd only maintained contact with her dad and her brother over the years due to several unsavory experiences with her other relatives.
Meanwhile, everyone assumed that OP's brother would be the will executor "as he is the oldest and my father's widow, while a nice person, had neither the fortitude to deal with the sharks we're related to, nor the language skills to really understand. Yes, he actually imported himself a wife from Russia. He was that clichéd." However, to everyone's surprise, it was revealed that the old man believed his daughter would be the perfect person for the job. "I'll spare you the legalese as it was fairly complicated and had lots of clauses and conditions attached, but the idea is I get the final say on what a fair split is and who gets what, except for the preallocated stuff, which is minor. Everyone was surprised as I'm the youngest and generally stayed FAR away from all the family drama. I think that may be why he picked me? Or it could have just been to fu** with the family," u/ThatsDrAardvarkToYou wrote.
"Anyway as soon as it got out that I'm in charge of splitting assets, I was DROWNING in phone calls letters, emails, Facebook requests etc. You would not BELIEVE the number of family [members] that suddenly wanted to get back in touch with me and to find out how I've been doing etc. Not ONE of them remembered treating me badly before either, could you believe it? I must have been remembering wrong because it was so long ago and all that. Gaslighty pack," the post continues. "Soon as the will was fully read, the calls and messages changed again, and suddenly my aunts and uncles especially were trying to tell me that they'd be happy to help me get a fair split, etc. They were essentially trying to tell me what to do and wanted to tell me what would be 'fair' since I obviously didn't know them anymore, but they knew who needed it the most." Meanwhile, her dad's widow's daughter was on a power trip of her own:
When OP finally got a list of everything that her father owned, the first thing she did was to sell whatever she could: real estate, art, cars, stocks, bonds and investments. She only kept one car for herself and gave one car and a motorcycle to her brother, who actually said that was enough for him. However, the little sister had bigger plans for him. "The widow will get roughly a third of the assets as in my opinion, she deserves it for having married my father. My brother gets about 25% which quite frankly, is more than my father would have given him as they weren't on great terms. He doesn't exactly know yet, and actually said he'd have been fine with just the car and bike, as long as he could stay out of the drama, bless him," she wrote.
As for her aunts, uncles and cousins, u/ThatsDrAardvarkToYou had an amusing scheme in mind. "One aunt revealed herself to be very nasty and greedy in the last few weeks. What does she get? 10k. Enough to give her no chance to contest, but an insulting amount off the millions we're talking about here. Also, a donation to a clinic for alcoholics in her name—which she is—worth another 5k. Uncle 1? Misogynistic prick beyond compare. He actually called me and offered to take over as the executor so I wouldn't have to worry my pretty little head over it. Yup, that bad! What does he get? 10k plus a donation made to a woman's shelter in his name, for another 5k," she revealed.
"Cousins: cousins with kids get 1k per kid more than those without. Base cousin amount will be 5k, plus a 5k donation for a suitable cause. The cousin who abused her kids? Donation to domestic violence org. The racist cousins (yes plural)? Donations to various international relief organizations and maybe a few local refugee help services. So on, so forth. Each cousin gets a suitable donation in their name to a cause—the policeman gets one to a group investigating police violence. That one was my brother's idea and I love it! There are about 10 of them, plus their kids who get nothing specifically, as they're no longer mentioned explicitly in the will," the post continues.
OP revealed that while she did keep some money for herself—"I made sure to allocate myself a fairly small amount compared to my brother to avoid any accusation of unfairly trying to keep it all for myself"—she is the only one in the family who doesn't actually need her father's money as she became financially successful on her own. She plans to donate the remaining money to various charities she is already familiar with which she said "is some mild revenge against my father too, as he would have rather set fire to his money than actually donated any of it to those in need."