She warned her boyfriend she was a 'catfish' without make-up, but he stuck around for 7 months — until she saw the texts he'd sent his friends

After accidentally snooping through her boyfriend’s phone, a 25-year-old woman (u/IllObligation9969) was left feeling humiliated after discovering what he really thought about her appearance without makeup. A full-face-of-makeup kind of woman, she had warned him early in their relationship that she looked “completely different” without it. She thought he understood and continued to feel comfortable enough to let him see her natural face. Seven months into their relationship, however, a look through his phone left her questioning everything. She shared the experience on Reddit on August 13, 2026, where the post garnered more than 2,600 upvotes.

She gave him the opportunity to leave

The woman admitted that she is a “full face of makeup kinda girl” and wears makeup almost every day. She believes she looks considerably different without it and said she has several features she considers flaws, including “dark undereyes, blonde lashes, and small lips.” Her discomfort with her natural appearance has made dating difficult, as she worries about men seeing her without makeup. However, she genuinely liked her boyfriend, whom she met at work, and had already warned him that she was a “catfish.” She even made comments about looking completely different without makeup when he complimented her.

She wanted him to know about the difference in her appearance before they became serious, giving him the opportunity to decide whether it bothered him. About two months into their relationship, she spent the night at his place for the first time. When he saw her without makeup before bed, he didn't say anything about her appearance. She took his silence as a sign that her natural appearance wasn't an issue and gradually became more comfortable wearing less makeup around him.

Egg hitting the face

The situation changed when her boyfriend accidentally left his phone behind while making a quick trip to a nearby store, seven months into their realtionship. Although she knew she shouldn't, she looked through it. He had previously told her that they had an “open phone” policy and that she could look whenever she wanted because he had nothing to hide. While looking through his phone, she came across a conversation with one of his friends about a goth-style streamer. When his friend commented on the woman's appearance, her boyfriend responded that she “could just be all makeup, though.” He then added, “My girl's hot with it but might be one of the ugliest girls I've seen without it.”

The comment devastated her. She admitted that she knew snooping through his phone was wrong, but the discovery left her feeling embarrassed and questioning whether he had ever truly accepted what she looked like without makeup. “I just feel like a troll and stupid for thinking he might not mind how I look,” she wrote.

Makeup or no makeup?

While the woman's experience centers on her insecurity about appearing without makeup, research suggests that perceptions of makeup and catfishing can be more complicated than they initially appear. A 2019 experiment by Irrational Labs explored how men perceived women with and without makeup, with 78% of the men surveyed saying they preferred a no-makeup look, compared with 22% who preferred makeup. Meanwhile, research published in Computers in Human Behaviour examined catfishing behavior among 664 participants recruited through social media. The researchers found that the variables they examined collectively explained 62.6% of the variance in catfishing perpetration. The study also cited previous research suggesting that 23% of women and 38% of men reported engaging in catfishing behavior.

'Find someone that lifts you up'

Reddit readers largely encouraged the woman to stop measuring her worth through her boyfriend's opinion and reconsider the relationship. u/Denman20 commented, “Damn… I don’t think this is salvageable; I’d probably move on. You’ll constantly be questioning yourself and your appearance. Find someone that lifts you up and loves you because of who you are and not how you look." u/Vashtivoden said, “That's just a deal breaker. I couldn't be with someone who felt that way about me.” While the woman admitted that snooping through her boyfriend's phone was wrong, what she found left her confronting a much more uncomfortable question: whether the person she trusted actually accepted the version of her she had been most afraid to show.

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