The woman wondered if she was wrong for refusing to help, and the internet had mixed opinions about it.
A person might find it hard when people in their life start taking their help for granted. A woman—who goes by @purplejeansandbiscoff on Mumsnet—experienced something similar when her husband's ex-partner started asking them for too much help with her new baby. The mom took to the platform to share her situation and ask the internet for advice. "My husband's ex-partner recently had a new baby around two months ago with her (now ex) partner," she started her post.
"Her (the ex) and my husband share two children of late primary age," the woman began. Since her husband's ex split up with her recent partner, she has been asking the couple for a lot of help. She asked them to pick up nappies, formula, and groceries, as well as to drop off and pick up her children. "I work part-time around our joint child, and she has asked me multiple times in the last few weeks to take her children to school because she's had no sleep, or to collect them from their hobby class on her nights and drop them back off with her—things like that," the woman remarked.
The woman eventually told her husband that it was getting too much. She had to parent her toddler, work part-time, have the kids over 50% of the time, and help her husband's ex as well. The husband has to work full-time, too. "Honestly, I just don't see what problem it is of ours that she's tired / had no sleep / doesn't want to go and get her own nappies," the woman pointed out. "I've tried to be patient because I know it's tough with a newborn, but she's just texted my husband again and asked if I can swing by for the children in the morning and drop them at school on my way to take my child to nursery because the baby has a cold and she's not been getting any sleep." The woman wondered if she was wrong for saying no to those things.
She even felt that her husband's ex should ask the baby's dad for help more often instead of asking them. The mom also shared that the ex and husband don't get along well either, as she concluded her post. People in the comments expressed their thoughts on the situation. @CluelessNotMalicious wrote, "I think with an 8-week-old baby and at this depressing time of year, I’d cut her some slack for at least a couple more months. But I would be thinking about what help is reasonable. And might be more inclined to have the children more of the time rather than do her errands."
@Octopies commented, "Buying nappies definitely isn't something I would get into doing for her. Could you offer to have the children for extra days if she's struggling with a sick baby? At least then, it would be easier to drop them off at school. It does sound like the baby's dad needs to be pulling his weight more." @nameftgigb remarked, "I’d have the children more just so that they don't have to be so badly affected by their mum who is clearly struggling. I wouldn’t be running around the shops and giving lifts for her though."