Woman inherits a fortune out of the blue, asks if she’s wrong for hiding it from her boyfriend of 8 years

When unexpected money enters a relationship, it can raise questions about trust, fairness, and independence. One woman, @jellytiptop, recently found herself in that position after receiving a significant inheritance from her grandmother. Instead of celebrating, she found herself weighing whether to tell her partner or keep the money hidden. Her post on Mumsnet revealed just how complicated things had become behind the scenes. The 31-year-old explained that she recently inherited £60,000 ($77,000) from her grandmother's will.

The money was distributed equally among all the grandchildren, and she received her share earlier in the week. However, she admitted she had not told her partner of eight years and was not sure if she should. "For context, we own a house together as tenants in common, with both of us putting down equal deposits and splitting the mortgage and bills 50/50," she wrote. She further said that her 37-year-old partner earns £65,000 ($86,000) per annum and has two teen children from his previous marriage. "He pays for maintenance, uniforms, allowance, etc. I am earning £52,000 ($66,775) per annum with no children," the woman explained.

She said their household expenses are handled through a joint account into which they both transfer the same amount each month. But they continue to get paid into separate personal accounts. Her partner has an estimated £40,000 ($51,300) in personal savings, as well as shares and crypto investments whose value she does not know. She had saved around £20,000 ($25,600) before the inheritance arrived. The bigger concern, she noted, was the state of their relationship. She explained, "Our relationship has been very difficult the past couple of years," citing his depression and impulsive behavior as factors that left her feeling they were not in a stable partnership.

"He has always been very insistent on everything being 50/50 financially, even when I was earning far less than I am now. I've just accepted it because I didn't want to be viewed as a freeloader and I could look after myself," she shared. With those dynamics in mind, she admitted she was unsure whether to disclose her inheritance. "I would like to put some of it on the mortgage, but then he would ask where it came from, etc.," she elaborated. That uncertainty led her to ask people on the internet whether it would be wrong to open a separate account for the funds, as the couple is not married.

The post sparked fierce discussion. Many supported her decision to keep the money private. @Lovelysummerdays wrote, "I’d stick it in your own account. If you were to split up, then he’d get half the equity, so I wouldn’t be rushing to pay off the mortgage unilaterally." @AuthorGirl1 suggested, "Don't pay off the mortgage, that's too much of a joint benefit. He has savings. If he wanted to reduce the mortgage, he could. Save it towards your retirement or an investment only for you." Others were concerned about the dynamics of their relationship. @Gelatibon pointed out, "In your circumstances, I wouldn't tell him, but I also wouldn't stay with a partner I didn't want to share that news with." @Dudsville added, "If you're feeling this way 9 years in, then it's maybe time to end it. Putting it on a mortgage that you'd then have to divide doesn't make sense unless you're feeling certain about a relationship."