Woman borrowed boyfriend's laptop and accidentally found his private messages — when she read the nicknames he had for her, her heart dropped

While almost every person likes to call their partner by playful nicknames, the behaviour can take a destructive form when these names are negative, sarcastic, mean, or demeaning to the partner’s appearance. In a Reddit post, a 23-year-old woman (u/verysadrightnow1234) shared an instance where she discovered that her boyfriend talked about her to others with inferior nicknames based on her appearance. The post has gained 1.8k upvotes since.

Painful secret exposed 

In the post, the woman described an instance that left her shattered and led to her breaking up with her boyfriend, Andy. She was pursuing summer courses when her laptop broke, and she had to borrow one from Andy. While she was working, a notification popped up on his laptop that he was logged into his Facebook account and there was a message. When she checked the chat, she realized it was from his brother, who was talking about her and calling her "horse teeth." Since she wasn't particularly confident about her teeth, she immediately knew the nickname was meant for her.

'Rat's nest hair'

Curious and suspicious, she scrolled through their previous conversations and got to know that her boyfriend was used to calling her by weird names, some of which felt intimidating and humiliating to her. In some of the messages, he had written demeaning things about her appearance, calling her names like "NoBoobs McGee," "Rat's nest hair," and "avocado nose.” Despite a lot of compliments, these negative comments clung to her mind. 

The saddest fact was that none of these remarks were entirely untrue, which made the girlfriend feel loathsome about herself. When she confronted him, he went into apologies, but it was too late. The incident left her brokenhearted, and she ended up breaking up with him.

The impact of negative name-calling in relationships

A 2021 survey by the Gottman Institute, cited by therapist Stephanie Cook, found that 63% of the couples who are involved in “name-calling” behaviors end up separating. The therapist also quoted research from the University of Alberta, which showed that being called names can make a person’s body feel stress, especially if the person who is calling names is close to them. These names can include sarcastic compliments or mean nicknames, just like the woman saw in her boyfriend’s Facebook chat box.

Embrace your feelings

Reddit readers wrote supporting remarks and urged the woman to love herself and embrace her decision, because she deserves better. u/AquaGenie remarked, “You sound completely awesome and totally bada**, I really think that you will find someone that appreciates you and you'll be happy that that dickhead allowed you to dump him. Better things ahead for you!” u/MrMcManStick said, “Yikes! I'm sorry for your pain, but I don't think you should talk yourself into staying with him. I think you should follow your gut and leave. Trust yourself,” u/gimmemyfuckingcoffee commented, “Don't settle for someone who settles for you.”

More on Scoop Upworthy

Man receives the 'perfect break-up text' from ex-girlfriend and the internet is applauding

Community rallies around woman who broke up with boyfriend over 'traditional wife' demand

Her boyfriend gave her a list of appearance changes before meeting his family — the only thing she changed was her relationship status