Woman hailed for normalizing seeking husband’s help to fight postpartum struggles: ‘Reality of birth’

Most people are aware of the boons and banes of childbirth. Body changes during the course of nine months when the baby develops inside of a womb, followed by the pain of labor or procedure, the post-partum healing and the joy of holding the newborn. What they don't know about is the post-childbirth struggles that bother the body mercilessly such as the first postpartum poop. It is important for the fathers to help the mothers out during this crucially vulnerable time. It doesn't include taking care of the baby, that's the duty. It includes taking care of the mother as she needs depending on the boundaries the couple shares. How far could a husband go to assist her wife postpartum? One mother @ustheremingtons demonstrated "the reality of birth" by uploading a TikTok video of her husband assisting her with a postpartum bowel excretion. Tiffany sits on a toilet in her hospital room after taking a stool softener in the video, which has 7.6 million views, while her husband Caleb assists with wiping, implying that they are partners in everything. 

"It's time to poop after birth and for me, it is just as mortifying as birth," Tiffany Remington of Portland, Oregon, says in a video that she uploaded after the birth of her second child, Calvin. "Ow!" exclaims Tiffany."OK, I think you're clean," Caleb says as he prepares Tiffany's maternity pad (to absorb vaginal bleeding) and postpartum underwear before helping her wear it. They also discuss what getting stitches feels like and how painful it could be. Tiffany explains in her video caption, "Before any toxic messages roll through, yes I am fully capable of doing this on my own... but my husband asked if he can help because he knows I hate the feeling of being dirty and choose not to wipe due to my tears, inflammation, and comfort. Why share this? Bc this is the reality of birth, not just the newborn snuggles. The first visit to the loo can be terrifying."

"You don't have the adrenaline of pushing out a baby so it can be painful. It can also feel like you’re doing this alone and experiencing these very real feelings by yourself. I promise you, you're not! This time around I took Colace to soften the stool up and it worked and helped so much!" she continues. "We share these intimate moments because oftentimes, especially as first-time birthers, you don't know what to expect or what is normal. THIS IS NORMAL." She adds, "We also want to normalize asking for help. My husband and I pride ourselves on being there for one another and pushing each other to ask and accept help. We are V independent people who are strong-willed, so moments like these bond us in the most special way." She concludes, "Love him. Love us."

Some people thought that sharing this on the internet was a little too intrusive. "We all getting too comfortable on here," commented @rosealeigg. "Wow. He was all up in there. Using terms and all," wrote @lesleyaragon7. A majority appreciated the husband helping and the reality being shared on the internet. "This kind of support is what every woman wants in their husband. You go dad!" praised @ashleycrumbaker. "I really love that you show this also. Because no one and I mean no one tells you these parts after having a baby. Hope you have a wonderful recovery," pointed out @m_m_b_026. "Thanks for posting this so that my partner can see it’s normal for him to be eager to help. His dad convinces him it’s not manly," added @kkayshia. Some women also shared that they might be uncomfortable with their partners helping them clean their privates since they might feel embarrassed. Every relationship has its own rules and levels of comfort. It is important for the partners to respect those while helping each other.