Mourning her fiancé's death just weeks before their wedding, she took a solo honeymoon and documented her journey through grief and healing.
Life has a way of throwing curveballs when you least expect it. One minute, you're planning a wedding, excited for the future, and the next, everything changes in the blink of an eye. Murphy—who goes by @murphs_up on TikTok—that curveball hit hard. Just a month before her wedding, her fiancé passed away and instead of celebrating their new life together, she found herself alone, packing for what was supposed to be their honeymoon. But Murphy wasn’t taking this trip for relaxation or adventure. She was going to see if life was still worth living.
With a heavy heart and little else to lose, Murphy decided to document her journey. She said, “Grief can be incredibly isolating," and maybe by sharing her story, she could connect with “even one other person out there who has been through something similar.” She wasn’t sugarcoating anything; she was just trying to make it through the day.
Her journey began in Montreal, where she landed and did what many of us would do when life felt overwhelming—grabbed some food and tried to distract herself by watching a murder documentary, because as she put it, it helped “keep things light.” However, even amidst the distractions, grief found its way in. Murphy had “a little cry in the restaurant," a moment of grief, you can say. Not quite ready to face the world, Murphy treated herself to a glass of wine before her flight. "Grab a glass of wine before my flight, which is exactly what my therapist told me not to do," she said.
On the plane to London, Murphy experienced one of those tiny frustrations that can feel monumental when you’re grieving. "I paid for extra legroom and I was pissed because I thought there was no TV, but it was there the whole time," she confirmed. The flight was a blur of restless sleep and airplane meals, Murphy said, “I quickly fell asleep and woke up to this meal, which probably wasn't gluten-free, but I ate it anyway because we don't care anymore. Fell asleep again until breakfast."
When she finally arrived in London, there were more small wins. Her bag actually showed up—a small miracle in the world of travel—and she successfully navigated the Tube, "I actually did this quite seamlessly. I was very proud of myself," she mentioned.
Of course, London welcomed her in the way only London can—with rain. Murphy walked through the downpour to her hotel, a fitting backdrop for the storm she was weathering inside. When she arrived, her room wasn’t ready, but at least the lobby was “really cute." She ended the video by saying, "But anyway, come back to see what I get up to, which might just be crying in my room."
The comments under the video were the epitome of women supporting women. Each comment is sure to leave you with a tearful eye. "My husband died 3 months after our wedding. Welcome to the hot young widow’s club. It sucks here, but we love you," said @leahbaumgartner. "This is one of the bravest things I’ve ever seen. You are feeling your pain, which a lot of us aren’t able to do. I’m wishing you healing & peace," added @mintydotsy. "Hey, gorgeous - I’m an Australian living in London & have a lot of free time (work split morning & evenings). Let me know if you fancy company for a walk/coffee/activity! So proud of you," said @marykbourke. @hellocassie75 shared her words of advice saying, "'I just don’t care about anything anymore' which sums up my attitude precisely the entire year after I lost my husband. I’m now coming around to finally live again! There is hope in the journey. Promise."
@murphs_up Solo honeymoon - grieving edition #grief #loss #griefjourney #partnerloss #widow #widowtok #solotravel #travel #honeymoon #london #england #fyp ♬ Vlog - Gaspar
You can follow Murphy (@murphs_up) on TikTok for more lifestyle content.