Woman gets checked after saying brother's fiancee didn't have a degree because she's a mom

Moms are often scrutinized for their life and career choices. Stay-at-home mothers might be asked why they aren’t contributing financially, while those who pause their education to focus on parenting face judgment too. This is what happened when Reddit user u/throwra53524434 confronted her brother's fiancée, claiming that she hadn’t earned a degree because she chose to be a mom. After sharing this incident online, she quickly received some blunt feedback.

The 24-year-old explained that her brother Adam (30) had recently become engaged to Michelle (32), a single mom. Since Adam's family had only met Michelle a few times, they planned a dinner to get to know her and her son better. "The family and I didn't know much about her, so after dinner, we started talking to her about her personal life," she shared. Michelle mentioned that she had only completed high school and had always dreamed of going to college, but it had been difficult. Adam's sister admitted she found this "a bit cliché," especially when Michelle "complained about a lack of opportunities and resources."

So, the woman decided to tell her future sister-in-law her take on the whole thing. She wrote, "I told her I disagreed because colleges give all kinds of opportunities and scholarships and that the real reason she couldn't go to college was because the fact that she was a mom and had to raise a kid." Michelle stared at her, offended, and asked her if she was implying that her decision to be a mom ruined her opportunities. Instead of responding wisely, the woman imposed her views on Michelle again. The 24-year-old shared, "I told her only she could answer this question once she takes a look at her life and see if she's really happy where she is vs. where she could've been without the whole struggling mom thing."

Her brother's fiancee got upset and told her she was happy with her life and her job at the salon. She did not appreciate how "judgemental and condescending" the woman was towards her and her child. "Adam heard the commotion and asked what was going on. She told him and he decided it was time to leave. She couldn't even wait or say goodbye. She took her son and went to wait in the car," the post revealed. The woman's brother got upset and told her it was none of her business how Michelle was living her life.

She tried explaining to him that she was sharing her opinion and nothing else. "Mom sided with them, saying I was out of line, rude and ridiculous, but my younger sister said that Michelle was being too sensitive and she should get over herself already," the woman wrote. The next day, her mother called Adam and later walked into her room and yelled at her for making Michelle cry. She concluded by sharing that her mother had asked her to apologize to Michelle for what she said. 

People online were also unhappy with how the woman treated Michelle. u/bullshlaga commented, "Just because you have your opinion doesn't mean people need to hear it. Sometimes, you can keep your opinion to yourself, especially when this is the time to get to know her better. Nobody likes a smartmouth, especially on first meetings. Listen to Justin Timberlake - some things are better left unsaid." u/poekienijn wrote, "Not everyone has the same opportunities in life. Not everyone is able to go to college. Not everyone can afford college."

u/RaysUnderwater expressed, "You could have said, 'Of course, it must be extra hard when you have the needs of <child's name> to prioritize' and then move the conversation to something else. She would only have been talking defensively about her education if she was feeling judged by her boyfriend's family. Whether intended or not, that was unkind of you also." u/gumbuoy said, "This woman is going to be part of your family. You should be praising her and welcoming her, not just knocking on her life choices when you've barely met her and don't know her."

This article originally appeared 2 months ago.