Woman garners support for telling her stepsister’s son 'honest truth' about losing a father

Family bonds are all special and losing them is hard. What’s harder is to cope, move on and accept another person. Many people have different feelings about the latter. However, those who go through the experience can relate better. u/FaltInflation8492 shared her experience of losing her father and having to welcome a stepfather and stepsister. However, when her stepsister’s son faced the same fate as she did, she tried to communicate with him and her stepmother lashed out at her for simply being honest. The woman mentioned that she had lost her father at the age of seven and was introduced to her stepfather and her then 9-year-old stepsister.

She said, “We had very different experiences with the whole blending of the families. I didn't really want it to happen and wasn't exactly looking to make them my new dad and sister. They never really became that either, but I have accepted that they are family.” The woman further explained that as they grew older, though she couldn’t accept or love them, she didn’t have hate towards them. The post further mentioned that the stepsister married and had a son and unfortunately lost her husband after a few years. The woman said, “Her son is now nine. My stepsister has met a man, a widower and he has two kids under three. They are trying to get to the point where they move in together, but her son is not blending with them, which is how she said it.”

She further explained that the boy simply didn’t want to have a part in the family, which was very similar to how she felt when she was little. The stepsister planned a family outing for her son and her new partner to spend time together. However, she noticed that it didn't help. The stepsister then asked the woman to help. “So she decided I needed to talk to him as someone who also lost my dad. She said the adult me could give him a more mature insight into everything. I told her I would talk to him, but I would not read from a script. She told me to just be honest,” she revealed.

As the woman mentioned, she was honest with the boy about the scenario. She focused on communicating and empathizing with the boy rather than just lecturing him. “I assured him that how he was feeling was okay and that I had felt the same way. I told him it was okay for his feelings to change and I answered honestly that mine hadn't really; they had just softened so I could like them as people, even if they weren't my dad and sister,” the woman said. This caused the son to be okay with how he felt about the situation, but unfortunately, that’s not what the stepsister wanted. "My stepsister did not like that and a couple of days later, she was calling to curse me out and saying I didn't help her like I had said I would,” the woman remarked.

She further added, “I told her my concern was with her son and how he was doing. She told me to go f*ck myself.”  While the woman was simply able to understand the son’s perspective, the stepsister refused to look beyond the fact that her family wasn’t able to gel with each other. With over 5k upvotes, many commenters supported the woman’s decision to prioritize the boy’s feelings over the stepsister's wants. u/Helena_Bed said, “You did the right thing by validating his feelings honestly. Lying to him wouldn’t have served him well.” u/Vandreeson said, “You can't force relationships, as you well know. Also, the kid will remember who lied to him.”