Woman garners support for choosing her comfort over helping ungrateful brother and family

Feeling undervalued by one's parents can be deeply painful. At 27, u/Haunting_Tackle_6997 found herself sidelined in favor of her brother. Despite her frustration, she accepted the situation and moved forward but things escalated when her parents, having favored her brother, still expected her financial support. She firmly refused, which led to widespread criticism. She stands by her decision, though the criticism caused some doubts, sending her to Reddit for a third-party view of her situation.

The woman began the post by talking about her past living situation. She used to stay with her parents and helped out with "paying rent and buying groceries." She explained her brother's current state of affairs. "My brother is married and has two children, a two-year-old and a newborn. He recently lost his job and has asked my parents if he can move back in until he is back on his feet," she wrote.

As soon as the brother announced his intentions, the parents pushed aside their daughter and her comforts. They told her she'd need to relocate from the basement suite to a small hobby room, making space for her brother and his family. The daughter vehemently protested against it but was told it was their house and their rules. She ultimately decided to change her living arrangement.

The woman's job is such that she has to work for 14 days out of town, after which she gets a leave of 7 days. It is for these 7 days that she requires accommodation. Since her parents' house was no longer a viable option, she switched to "an all-inclusive for my week off."  Financially, this was a smarter choice as the costs were lower than what she previously paid for rent and food at her parents' house. The parents did not oppose her decision and allowed her to move out.

After some days of this arrangement, she began getting messages from her parents. They expected her to continue contributing to rent and groceries as before. It surprised her, as she did not understand why this was still expected of her when she was not living there. When she said the same, it upset the whole family as they planned to use her money to help the brother. They accused her of moving out without giving notice. She reminded them that they had taken her living space and given it to her brother.

Her brother also called and argued that she was being selfish, leaving him out to dry when he needed her the most. She called out that when he was not living in their parents' space, he was not sending them any money. He offered to go back to the previous arrangement by moving upstairs, but the woman was not interested in that anymore. Her current arrangement, she explained, "covers my room, maid service, food, alcohol, and entertainment for 2/3 of what I was paying my folks." It was easier on her pockets in comparison to the last one. She gave $500 to her parents and called it a day, which was not received well by her parents, brother and other relatives.

The comment section was on her side. u/iwntwfflefrys wrote how the family had wronged the woman, "Your parents made you pay 1800 dollars for a ROOM in Edmonton? And you were only there for 2 weeks?! Your family is taking advantage of you. You also gave them 500, don't feel bad for leaving and don't look back."

u/miriandrae commented how the family had wronged the woman, "NTA - tell me you're the scapegoat without telling me you're the scapegoat. There was no communication, no family meeting, no decision together. They decided unilaterally to evict you from the space you were living in to support your brother without any conversation and expected you to just take it."

Editor's note: This article was originally published on December 11, 2023. It has since been updated.