Woman faces tough choice when brother asks for vacation savings to pay for dental surgery

Putting family first is a lesson many of us learn early on, but sometimes that loyalty isn't always returned in the same way. Reddit user u/True-Strawberry-9409 recently turned to the platform for advice after finding herself in a tough spot with her brother, who asked her to cancel a long-awaited vacation with her husband. She explained that she and her partner had been saving for nearly a year for the two-week trip to Europe, making it a major milestone for them as a couple. “It’s a big deal for us because we’ve never taken a major vacation together before. The flights, hotels—everything has already been paid for,” she shared.

he tension began when her 35-year-old brother reached out last week, informing her of an emergency dental surgery he needed but couldn’t afford. He then asked if she could loan him the money, despite it being earmarked for their vacation. When she declined, a family conflict began brewing over her decision to prioritize the vacation she and her husband had worked so hard for.

“Though not life-threatening, his tooth infection is severe and needs prompt attention. He currently lacks insurance (a result of past financial missteps) and the procedure is estimated to cost around $10,000,” she added. The woman claimed that her brother had been persistent in asking for a loan. However, there was no way she had an extra $10K lying around after paying for this vacation.

“When I told him that, he got mad and said I should cancel my trip to help him, insisting that 'family comes first,'” the woman confessed, adding that her sibling even proposed an idea. He went to the extent of suggesting his sister request refunds for the flights and hotels. Emphasizing it could only partially solve the problem, the sister remarked, “I told him I felt bad for his situation, but I wasn’t going to cancel a trip we’d been planning for a year over his poor financial choices, especially when this isn’t a life-or-death situation.” Upon hearing this, the brother could not hold back his anger and called the younger sister “selfish.”

“He lost it and accused me of abandoning him in his time of need and got our mom involved,” the sister explained further. She added that, in the aftermath of the family rift, the sibling’s mother started putting pressure on her to cancel the trip. Additionally, their mom wanted her daughter to help her brother out, saying it was “just a vacation” that she could always reschedule However, the sister now claims that it is unfair for her to sacrifice something she has “worked hard for.” And that too, for her brother who “can’t handle his responsibilities.” The post has garnered around 13,000 upvotes, with most of the people showing their support for the sister. She now feels that her sibling could be lying about the cost to drain her of her own money, sparking reactions.

Among them, u/stinstin555 opined, “A tooth extraction does not cost $10K. Regardless of the procedure, the dentist likely offers payment plans, he can apply for CareCredit, or he can go to a dental school.” u/Starfoxy added, “The only way I would ever dream of paying for a sibling's wildly expensive emergency dental surgery would be to go to the office myself and hand payment directly to the folks there behind the desk.”