Woman shares how motherhood is an aspect of a woman's identity not her whole being, even without it she can have a fulfilling life.
Being a mother is one of the biggest roles a woman can undertake in life. However, if a woman chooses or can not incorporate this role in her life, it does not reduce her worth. Tamsen Fadal—who goes by @tamsenfadal on Instagram—does not seem to think so and made a video detailing why not having kids worked out for her. In the video, she does not mention women who chose to adopt this role and enjoyed it fully. She puts her perspective out that even after not being a mother, her life is no less fulfilling. It does not lack a purpose and she likes how things eventually shaped out for her.
Fadal begins the video by sharing the various reactions she has received whenever people have come to know that she doesn't have children at the age of 52. Some responses were, "But who's going to take care of you when you are old?" "That's what we are put on earth for." "You're so selfish." "You don't know true joy until you have a child." "What do you do with all your free time?" and "Do you regret it now that you are older?" Her simple answer to all these queries was no. Her reaction to these queries was not filled with anger because she understood that people are attuned to believing that human life is not worthwhile without kids. So their concern was coming from the best of intentions.
Fadal goes on to share her perspective on this issue. She explained that being a mother added to a particular identity. It did not become the whole identity. "Many women have chosen not to have children or can't have them. All of us have a different path. I love children and I think I would have been an amazing mom, but I have no regrets at all," she elucidated. The mentality of equating being a mother with someone's whole being is unhealthy. Every person's life has a different path and just because it doesn't have motherhood in it does not mean it is unsuccessful. Fadal gave her example. Despite not being a mother, she considers her life to be fulfilling.
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Fadal lists everything she has to enjoy in her life, even without having kids. "I have an incredible nephew. I mentor younger women. I have a big loving family and a fulfilled life," she added. Despite not being a mother, life worked out for her. She ended the video with an inspiring message for all the women, "My worth in this world is more than just any one title and yours is too." In her caption, she further encouraged women not to let society dictate their value, "I want you to know that you're so much more than that title, you can be whatever you want to be. The only person who gets to decide is YOU." Women must retain their identity beyond being a mother. They have a life and with or without the tag of a "mom." it is worth celebrating.
People in the comment section appreciated Fadal's authenticity. @retired_life_2017 backed up her assertion and wrote, "I'm 66 and never had kids. Can't miss what you never had. Not everyone wants kids. How is that being selfish?" @love_saravalentine shared a very important message and commented, "Normalise women choosing what's best for them."
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