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Woman explains how 'supermom' stereotype is hurting mothers: 'I want to feel empowered to rest'

Moms these days do not aspire to be branded as a 'supermom,' instead, they just want to be 'valued' and 'live a life of ease.'

Woman explains how 'supermom' stereotype is hurting mothers: 'I want to feel empowered to rest'
Cover Image Source: TikTok | @thatdarnchat

Being a mother is probably the toughest unpaid job in the world. Mothers have to not only juggle their work pressure, children and household chores, but they also have to manage their mental health, which keeps declining under the overwhelming stress they carry. A lot of people might feel like it is an absolute honor to be called a "supermom" who has everything figured out and under her control but author and podcast host Laura Danger, begs to differ.

Representational Image Source: Pexels
Representational Image Source: Pexels

@thatdarnchat proposed an idea for moms to take off their "supermom" hats and renounce the "do it all mindset" where a woman might feel like it's an absolute necessity to manage everything on their own to be hailed as a great mother figure. "I will fight anyone in the street who calls me a supermom. I am not a supermom. I never want to be. I never want anyone to refer to me as 'so strong,' 'jack of all trades,' 'We literally couldn't do it without her and if you weren't here, everything would fall apart'." Danger says in her video. "I never want to be so essential to an organization or a group or even my family that everything relies on me."

 Image Source: TikTok | @thatdarnchat
Image Source: TikTok | @thatdarnchat

 

"I want to be important enough that I matter and I want to bring something to the table but I do not want to be the one sustaining anything. I do not want to be so strong. I want to live a life of ease. I want to feel empowered to rest," the Chicago-based mother of two adds. "If you were to match the energy and effort being put in by other people and give just as much as they and the whole thing would fall apart, you were overcompensating to a point that it was unsustainable. If you are the thing keeping it all together, it was never sustainable." She also had a chat with TODAY where she dished out on what inspired her to create this particular video.

 Image Source: TikTok | @thatdarnchat
Image Source: TikTok | @thatdarnchat

Danger revealed to the outlet that she created her video after watching countless male TikTok creators praise women for their "sacrifices." "It made me upset — we have to push past that," she said. "The progress that's been made over the past 20 or 30 years has only been to acknowledge the work of women, especially women of color and single parents who work long hours" as opposed to introducing policies that make moms' lives easier (equal pay, affordable childcare, paid maternity leave)."

She also noted that there are several women who pick up a "second shift" at home. According to the reports of The Center for American Progress, the "second shift" refers to the household and childcare workload that an employed woman has to take once she returns home. It is usually more burdensome than what their male partners have to face. "Having this labor feminized and seen as natural along with the myth of the maternal instinct, makes it invisible," Danger further added. "Women then internalize the idea that they're biologically made for these roles."

 Image Source: TikTok | @thatdarnchat
Image Source: TikTok | @thatdarnchat

Danger's upcoming book "No More Mediocre" has focused on research from the University of Michigan which shows that simply marrying a man creates an additional seven hours of housework per week for women. "And the situation gets worse for women when they have children," Frank Stafford, a professor of economics at the university, said in a press release. The podcaster and author concluded by stating that many parents are desperate for acknowledgment and there is a dire need for more "cultural examples of true equality in a partnership in the society" rather than a "supermom" tag.

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