She walked out of 'Project Hail Mary' in tears but one question from her 'green flag' boyfriend exposed how he really felt about her

Almost everyone needs a partner who will validate their emotions, with the understanding that their opinions might differ. One woman, unfortunately, met a man who turned out to be quite the opposite. In a June 4 TikTok video, book reviewer Rachel Dawson (@alltheradreads) detailed a dating experience where she met a man and thought she had finally found someone to spend her life with. But all the “green flags” she saw in him during the initial phase turned into glaring red flags once they went out for a movie. Her video has gotten over 492,000 views and 59,000 likes so far.

From fantasy to drama

Dawson had been on around five to six dates with this man. Their connection was progressing beautifully, even making her feel intrigued, curious, and fascinated. However, one instance threw a trammel in their momentum, and Dawson was left questioning where they actually stood in the relationship and if they were really on the same page. 

Green flags turned into glaring red

The episode happened when they went to see the Ryan Gosling movie “Project Hail Mary.” The movie resonated so much with Dawson and hit her in a vulnerable place that she started crying. The man had seen the movie before, and he was simply chuckling. As they were exiting the movie theatre, he suddenly made a remark that made her look silly for expressing her emotions. He said, “Do you ever gonna get over this? You gotta see more movies, kiddo!” That got her.

She held back, but then another red flag popped up that entirely threw her off the centre. Being a movie buff, it was natural for him to be knowledgeable about actors. He brought up the name of Sandra Hüller, an actress who played the role of a commanding government official named Eva Stratt. Dawson confessed that she didn’t know the actress’s name. At this point, the man said that most Americans knew who she was, while Dawson didn’t.

When the mask dropped

Dawson still held on. At night, she texted him, expressing that “it was hurtful,” and in that moment, she witnessed the “fragility of male ego on full display.” The man immediately started behaving in a rude, gross, and critical manner, which made her realize that she wasn’t interested in pursuing things further with him. “This is not the way I need to be spoken to or want to be spoken to; this is just unacceptable,” she asserted. “If somebody expresses that they are hurt, there are a million ways you can respond that invite conversation and connection, and he went in the complete opposite direction and was just dismissive and aggressive and rude and hurtful and sarcastic, narcissistic…I could go on. The red flags were flapping in my face.”

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

After the incident, Dawson ended the relationship, learning the hard way that she was not bound to tolerate that kind of behavior, attitude, perspective, and way of speaking. Psychologist Dr. John Gottman calls these behaviors the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse," including criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. According to Gottman, criticizing one’s partner or treating them with mockery, disrespect, or superiority are some of the most destructive behaviors that predict the end of a relationship with 93.6% accuracy. Gottman’s research also suggests that 85% of stonewallers are men.

'That's not on you'

Viewers jumped in to defend Dawson and assure him that she did the right thing. Countless people reassured that they too weren’t aware of Sandra Huller’s name, something that her partner said most Americans were. @sentient.plushie said, “Multiple film nerds in the comments not knowing the actress is so funny. I don't know her either.”@sarah_elizah120 reflected, “Making someone feel small for having feelings or not knowing something is such a red flag. Those are both opportunities for good communication and getting to know someone. Especially a new friend/relationship.”

You can follow Rachel Dawson (@alltheradreads) on TikTok for book-related content.

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