Woman doesn't want her father to 'give her away' at wedding, sparking debate on age-old tradition

Weddings all over the world have some form of sexism or bias prevalent. The world is moving forward, challenging and questioning the traditions that have become unquestionable norms over the decades. However, now a wave of change is spreading over the world and wedding traditions are being given new meanings. Couples are coming up with their own traditions for their weddings and embracing the “my life, my rules” vibe. In a recent Reddit post, u/ThrowRAspagheti turned to the internet for advice and insight on her outlook on the tradition of the father ‘giving away’ the daughter at the wedding. 

The 26-year-old woman gave a brief background about her relationship with her father. She wrote that she “never wanted” her dad to “give her away” on her wedding day because of her “strained relationship” with him. After moving out for university, the two began to have a better relationship, which could’ve been due to the distance between them. She further explained, “Recently, my parents (60s) met my long-term boyfriend (26m) and started joking about our wedding. I said that I would love to have them both walk me down the aisle.” She added that this didn’t go down well with her mother, who “protested” and said that “it was a father’s role.” She shared, “I said if they were not both walking me down, then nobody would walk me down and cited that I thought that tradition was sexist.”

She revealed that after this particular situation, her father had become “distant again” and their telephonic conversations have been quite tense. “I don’t want to apologize because I don’t think I am wrong, but I will if that’s the verdict,” she wrote. She clarified in her conclusion that the real reason why she doesn’t want her father walking her down the aisle is because she thinks “it’s sexist” and the fact that her father was not “emotionally present or financially providing” during her childhood. 

She finally said, “I guess I still resent him for my childhood and if my mum doesn’t also walk me, then I don’t want it.” She turned to the internet for clarity on whether she was in the wrong or not. The comment section was mostly in support of the woman, coming from the space of “your wedding, your choice.”

u/Desperate_Mortgage59 said, “It’s your wedding and your choice. If he’s that upset he should talk it out with you instead of sulking.” Another user shared their relatable experience of having a strained relationship. u/Downtov said, “After strained relationships with both parents at one point or another, neither of them or my step-parents had any right ‘to give me away.’” 

It is evident that the internet sides with the woman and her wish to do her wedding her way because ultimately, it is her choice. Doing weddings the way a bride and groom want to seems to be the trending change that’s sweeping the wedding industry and the world definitely needs something new about weddings to look forward to. Patriarchy and its traditions give way too many yawns, don’t they?