Woman explains how to categorize adult friendships and why everyone can't be an 'everything friend'

Friendships make our lives better but knowing how to manage our expectations can make friendships better. A TikTok creator Sierra (@averagesisi) discussed this in detail in a video that's making social media users reflect on their relationships. In the video, she explained that she has put her friends in categories and that her best friends are her "everything friends." She elaborated on how "everything friends" are the ones you can call on any occasion.

“I’m so glad that I learned that most of my friends are not going to be everything friends,” Boudreaux said. “All the things that you could need to be wrapped up in one person or a few people, that is an everything friend.” Other people fall into different categories, she added.

“A lot of the friends we make are going to have categories,” Boudreaux said. “Your going out friends, your going out to dinner friends..., the career advice friends. It saves you a lot of heartbreak when you let people show up in your life in the way that they’re actually meant to you.”

Sierra's video resonated with many people and has over a million views. “I had a really hard time accepting this, but honestly it’s okay. People show up how they can!” said @actu4ltrash.“I get it but my brain only accepts everything friends like it feels like it should be all or nothing,” commented @_.maryyy.x.

@neuraljournal wrote, "This summarized exactly what I’ve been realizing. People change and go from everything to a category too, myself included. Learning to be okay with it." @K&M noted, "This!! And that not every friend is a forever friend. Sometimes you outgrow friendships." @Angela commented: "YES. Book club friends, in bed by 9 pm friends, weekend drinks friends, hiking friends, etc. I have one local everything friend. And it works well." @zarina wrote: "I had a really hard time accepting this, but honestly it’s okay. people show up how they can!" @kt.h.park shared, "This is what I mean by you can put together all the little things that people provide to make something bigger."

Speaking to In the Know, Dr. Kelli Johnson—dean of the College of Psychology and Behavioral Sciences at Chicago’s National Louis University and a practicing therapist— explained: "In any relationship, it can be healthy to have a balance around how you utilize your friendships. Having one person be your everything, that can be overwhelming. It can be overwhelming for the person on the receiving end of that, but it can also be challenging for the person who is putting everything into one person."

In another interesting story about the value of friendships, at the age of 8, Sammie Vance thought about an important question, "What breaks your heart?" "For me, it's seeing people who need a friend," the eighth grader from Fort Wayne, Indiana, told PEOPLE, "I've been lonely myself. I don't want others to feel that way." After she went to the summer Bible camp, she learned about buddy benches — a seat at a school playground, where a lonely child can sit, letting other kids know that they are in need of a friend.

"I'm like, 'This would be really cool to have at my school,'" Sammie recalled. “It’s nerve-wracking to go up to someone and ask them to play because you don’t know what they’re going to say. When you sit on the Buddy Bench, it’s easy to notice that someone is sitting there. When other people know what it’s used for it’s easier because you know that someone is going to come and play with you.”

Sammie is right, life can be dull without friendships, and knowing how to make and keep friends can be a valuable lesson!