Woman decides to pull plug on wedding after boyfriend of 8 yrs make sexist joke about marriage with friends

Two people dating each other might not agree upon everything and have differences about big life decisions. However, they certainly need to be clear about their plans. So, when this woman overheard her boyfriend joking about delaying marriage with his friends, she decided to take a bold step. She was hurt that after being through so many ups and downs for 8 years, he was still joking about their future. She decided to return her engagement ring and it didn't sit right with her man. The woman, u/No-Rhubarb-8555, took to Reddit to share the incident and ask for advice.

"My fiancé and I (both 30) have been together for 8 years and engaged for 4 years. We got engaged right before COVID hit and obviously, that put a huge halt on any sort of planning and then from there forward, life events halted it more (we became homeless, ended up pregnant and having our child and now we are back on our feet but not financially where we could be YET,)"

Around five months ago, she initiated a conversation about marriage, suggesting a backyard wedding and potluck. She preferred something affordable since the wedding details and expenses weren't her main concern. She simply wanted to don a beautiful dress, have all eyes on her and marry the love of her life, without needing extravagant extras. When she presented the idea, he agreed it wasn't bad and mentioned they could 'probably' plan for July 2025.

The topic of marriage hadn't come up again until a visit to their neighborhood friends. She was spending time with the neighbor's wife and her best friend, while her fiancé was with a group of 3-4 guys, having beers and working on vehicles. During their hangout, one of the guys joked about marriage, saying, "Once you get married, everything stops." Her fiancé laughed and chimed in, "That's why I've been dragging my feet on marriage," which made the guys laugh and advise him, "Don't do it, man, it's a trap," and so on. Although it really hurt her, she dismissed it as typical "locker room talk" and tried her best to move on.

The wife revealed, "It sat in the back of my head. So a couple of weeks ago, I brought up getting married again and just ran some ideas by him on simple things (like what he saw our wedding colors being) and he shut down a bit and said something to the effect of 'I think we need to weigh the pros and cons of being married first' and shut down the conversation.'" The woman couldn't shake the sinking feeling in her gut, so she went out for a walk. "I went back inside and calmly handed him my ring back and asked him what he wanted for dinner. I didn't want to make a big deal, so there was no yelling, no crying, nothing. I was calm and moved on. But he instantly asked me what I was doing and why I gave the ring back. So I mentioned his comment to his buddies about dragging his feet and now his comments about needing to wait and weigh the pros and cons before going through with anything."

"I told him I don't want to wait, nor do I want to get my hopes up for a marriage that he's clearly changed his mind about, so I would rather he have the ring back and go into this without the sound of wedding bells in my head," the woman shared. But her fiance got really defensive over it, leaving her wondering if she had done something wrong. People took to the comments section to support her. u/DesperateToNotDream wrote, "'We need to weigh the pros and cons,' he’s had four years since proposing to think about that. He absolutely doesn’t want to get married; if he did, you would be." u/Whatever53143 commented, "The thing that gets me these days is they go and have kids with you, but still afraid of 'commitment' like dude, you’re still going to be on the hook for child support!" u/saharanotdesert commented, "It's like he was using the engagement to hold you down or something."