'She doesn't want me because I am fat and would ruin the maid of honor aesthetics. I felt insulted,' Olive Chiemerie shared.
A woman on Twitter has sparked outrage online after revealing the superficial reason behind her closest cousin not asking her to be the maid of honor at her wedding. Olive Chiemerie of Nigeria took to the microblogging platform earlier this month to share how her soon-to-be-married cousin had given her an ultimatum: lose weight or she won't be considered for the role of a maid of honor at her wedding. To many people's satisfaction, Chiemerie decided not to give in to the fatphobic demand and has instead decided to skip the wedding altogether.
"My closest cousin, the closest thing I have to a sibling, has officially confirmed I won't be her maid of honor because I'm just too fat for a maid of honor role. Have to lose some weight before December or no maid of honor duties for me. I shan't be attending the wedding," she tweeted. "My family will swear I'm wicked and no-nonsense because I reward meanness with the same level of vim. Begging me to attend for what? So I'd damage the aesthetics? Nah, I'll stay home and press my phone all day. Happy married life, Couz!"
Speaking to BuzzFeed about her cousin's hurtful actions, Chiemerie provided some enlightening details about their relationship. "For context, this cousin and I are both only children, but we grew up in the same home, raised by her mum, my dad, our other auntie and our grandma," she said. "In essence, we're sisters, the closest thing each of us came to a sibling. So I guess going by the bond I thought we shared, I naturally assumed I'd be her maid of honor. It was supposed to be non-negotiable, but she didn't ask me. I also didn't want to have to ask her, I firmly believed it'd be me."
"The conversation came up last week while we and our mutual friend were discussing wedding details. She said she's still contemplating which of her light-skinned, slim friends to ask to be maid of honor," Chiemerie revealed. "I was stunned. Our mutual friend was stunned too. What??? She said yes, she doesn't want me because I am fat and would ruin the maid of honor aesthetics—that it's usually slender, light-skinned girls who get to be maid of honor. I felt insulted. Our friend said she felt insulted on my behalf too." She explained that while she would've understood if her cousin had wanted a close friend to be her maid of honor, the fact that she was basing her decision on "aesthetics" was both insulting and hurtful.
"I told her I wouldn’t be attending the wedding because—if she felt so ashamed of and embarrassed by me—who's to say my presence alone wouldn't destroy the wedding aesthetics? She said I was overreacting because it really wasn't that deep, that it was her choice to make," Chiemerie said. "Of course, it was her choice to make. I just thought [me being the maid of honor] was an obvious choice. Perhaps it's my bad to assume? I should add that I wasn't particularly enthused by the maid of honor part, I wasn't overly looking forward to it, my angst and hurt isn't because I don't get to be maid of honor, I'm not upset about that. It's the fact that she not only didn't think me worthy, but she also doesn't realize or understand why it hurt me."
Twitter users had a lot to say about what went down between Chiemerie and her cousin. While some supported Chiemerie's decision to not attend the wedding, others shared similar stories of being fat-shamed by their near and dear ones. Meanwhile, some netizens even revealed that they've been asked to be a maid of honor for superficial reasons. "I feel validated and understood," Chiemerie said of the response she received. "I want more fat women to realize that the bodies the media and fashion industries keep shoving in our faces as perfect and ideal are largely highly unrealistic, plus we can't all have the same slender body build."
I had a similar situation. I still went to the wedding. People kept saying to me, "I thought you would be the MOH" or "why aren't you MOH?" And I just said she wanted someone thinner. It reflected more on her and I enjoyed the food that was served and I looked great!! ❤️— Janet (@JanetJones1923) June 5, 2022
The "perfect" wedding to many people simply means a self-absorbed vanity show. "My day".— JayJayRaymond (@AytndE) June 5, 2022
Don't budge. Don't go that wedding no matter what.
I got picked for maid of honor for someone I wasn't even close to because I was the right complexion and height she wanted.— FemaleKING👑 (@queenkayzee) June 5, 2022
She had a younger sister that could play the role but she didn't qualify for the aesthetics.
Brides are such sensitive creatures.
She also addressed another phenomenon she noticed: people DMing her with compliments about her beauty. "It's all been incredibly heartwarming, but it's hilarious. All I tweeted was that I was told I couldn't be maid of honor because I was fat. Nowhere did it say I was ugly or unattractive," Chiemerie pointed out. "But I don't think that assumption of my self-esteem being assaulted was unfounded, because fat women have always been made to feel inadequate, leading to their self-esteem being in shambles. That's fortunately not true in my case. I'm gorgeous. It's not something I say because 'body positivity,' I am actually gorgeous gorgeous. I think my body is exquisite, and I carry myself elegantly knowing this."
"It's probably a miracle that at this point I still think so highly of me and my body, but I do, this body is all I have and I'm not about to let anyone make me hate it," she added. "I don't love this body despite being fat, I love it because it is mine, slim or fat. So if I do decide to embark on a weight loss journey, I'd do it not because I hated my fat body nor to feel better about myself nor to cower to pressure, but because I want to. I will love this body in every shape, every form."