Woman considers buying a condo despite boyfriend's financial struggles, asks internet if she is wrong

Balancing personal goals and relationships can be tricky, especially when financial struggles come into play. Many people wrestle with the question of whether to prioritize their dreams or put them on hold to support a partner. Similarly, a 32-year-old woman, u/Ok-Pomegranate-345, turned to Reddit to share her complicated situation with her 38-year-old boyfriend, who is dealing with serious financial issues. In the post, she explained how her decision to buy a condo when her boyfriend was facing financial hurdles has caused tension in their relationship. 

The woman wrote that she had been saving for years to buy a home, a goal she had even before meeting her boyfriend eight months ago. "I was focused on saving to eventually buy a condo or house when financially ready. Ideally, I hoped to do this with a partner, but I was also okay doing it alone," she explained. Her situation changed when she lost her job and had to pause her house-hunting plans. However, after securing a new job, she picked up where she left off, especially as her rent kept rising. "My rent has gone up again, and now a mortgage would actually be cheaper than continuing to rent," she added.

Her boyfriend, on the other hand, had never been so fortunate. "He's been struggling with debt—over $100,000—and dealing with lawsuits from former business partners after his ventures didn't work out," she shared. To make ends meet, he'd been running small businesses and subletting rooms in his rental home, but that backfired when his landlord discovered the arrangement and issued an eviction notice. Despite the financial strain, she tried to be supportive.

"I've been paying for most of our shared expenses when we go out, and I even offered to let him move in with me temporarily after his eviction," she wrote. "For three months, he's been struggling to figure out his next steps. He's worried about being unemployable, having not worked in a traditional job since 24 (he has an IT degree), and knows building a stable business takes time," she explained about his situation. Still, her decision to proceed with buying didn't sit well with her boyfriend.

"I've always been transparent about my plans to buy a home. Recently, I told him I'd started looking at listings and contacted a realtor. However, when I brought it up, he became sad and withdrawn." She explained her reasoning, "I want to build equity, lower my monthly costs, and get a bigger place where we could eventually live together comfortably. My current one-bedroom apartment is just too small for two people." She hoped he would be excited about the process and offer input on homes and neighborhoods but admitted his reaction made her question whether she was being selfish.

The Reddit community was quick to weigh in, with many supporting her decision. u/goodreadKB said, "You're 32 and trying to get your finances in good order and that is great. You have only been with this guy 8 months which is not that long. You need to be doing what will be good for your life long-term. Also, since he is so much in debt, I would not loan him any money as you are not likely to get it repaid back." u/camkats added, "He should be happy for you. He lied to his landlord. His problems are his own. This tells you who he is - listen." u/Kukka63 simply said, "A true partner will support you and is pleased for you being able to buy your own property."