MIL showed up uninvited to Thanksgiving until one dinner rule sparked a blow-up that divided the family
The mother-in-law was obviously upset, and later, even her husband started giving her the cold shoulder.
Thanksgiving turned into a family drama when a woman (u/still-rip9704) refused to let her mother-in-law overstep a simple rule at dinner. The mother-in-law had some serious food insecurity and would always end up hoarding it. So, this time, when she wanted to pack some extra food for her boyfriend, her daughter-in-law straightaway refused, causing family chaos. Posting her conundrum on November 26, the woman received great sympathy from users online.
She and her husband had already decided not to invite her mother-in-law. "She takes food before everyone (we feed the kids first in this household) and then takes off with Tupperware of our food without even saying goodbye, and there have been multiple times when there wasn't much food left to go around after this," the woman explained. The issue was a bigger concern as she often ended up hungry, all because of her MIL. "Because I am always the last to eat here (family of 6, 4 kids, I serve my kids and then my husband and then myself)," she added. As discussed, the couple didn't invite him, but the mother-in-law showed up anyway. They didn't argue with her because they didn't want to create a scene, and so they carried on with the evening.
It was soon time for dinner, and when the woman called her kids, her MIL jumped in to get food. "I said, 'I'm sorry, but are you a child? No? Go sit down and wait your turn,'" the woman recalled. The MIL felt embarrassed and quietly went back to sit. Next, when it was time for the adults to have food, she came back, had her food, and later grabbed a Tupperware to pack some food for her boyfriend. The woman refused, saying she couldn't just take food for someone they didn't know. "She asked if she could take a plate for herself, so I said sure and exchanged the Tupperware she grabbed (one of our oversized ones) and exchanged it for a normal-sized container that would hold roughly 2 cans of soup," the woman recalled.
Her mother-in-law was shocked when she heard it; she threw the Tupperware and walked away without further discussion. However, the matter didn't end there, and she later called her son to tell him that she felt unwelcome in the gathering. Moreover, she said her daughter-in-law was acting immature. "She was on speaker, so I calmly said that I would not apologize for making her follow the same rules as everyone else, and perhaps her own entitlement to other people's food is the real issue here," the woman said. The mother-in-law was obviously upset, and later, even her husband started giving her the cold shoulder.
Meanwhile, reacting to the Reddit post, u/horror_soil_6681 commented, "NTA Your husband might have conflict issues with family and feel bad for her issues, but that's not your burden. If she's going to act like a child, she gets treated like one. Your husband needs to work on his backbone." u/careless-image-885 wrote, "NTA, but your husband is a big one. Also, stop serving his plate. He's a big, old adult. He can put his food on his plate all by himself. You aren't his mother. He should also be helping serve the children first."
u/living-ear8015 said, "NTA, but your husband is, and so is his mother. It’s disgraceful that he’s allowing his mother to literally steal food from his family (you and your children). The audacity of packing up food before everyone has eaten!" Similarly, u/horror_proof_ish commented, "NTA, but both your husband and MIL searched the meaning of FAFO and asked for a live-action explanation. The child of the offending parent needs to deal with them, or somebody else will." u/lhasaapsosmile commented, "NTA. Food insecurity is real. But she is old enough to have learned manners. I would go back to your husband and remind him that she was not invited. I wonder how much she embarrassed him when he was a child. That may be part of what is going on."
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