The mother decided to take a stand for her daughter against her elderly mom, who was commenting on the teen's weight loss.
Conflicts between members of different people are inevitable in a household where multiple generations live together. But, ideally, most of these conflicts can be fixed and family members continue to live in relative peace. But what if an elderly member of the household refuses to cease bothering someone and continues to body-shame them? u/Such-a-salty-bitch turned to the Reddit community to ask for people's opinions on whether she was in the wrong for defending her daughter in public.
The 45-year-old woman revealed that her 71-year-old mother lives with her and her family, but they do not have an easygoing relationship. Even though she tries to be as respectful to her mother as possible, it has been increasingly difficult to tolerate her behavior in the household. The woman wrote that whenever there is a conflict in the house, they usually talk it out with the person who is involved in the conflict in private and solve the issue.
But lately, she had to deal with an odd situation that involved her own 19-year-old daughter, who had lost a significant amount of weight for reasons unknown. "She's become a little self-conscious about it. I overheard my mother make a comment to her about how thin she was. I walked into the room and asked my daughter to go to her room and she did. I then politely told my mother to keep her comments to herself as it was uncomfortable for my daughter. She acted offended but agreed to not say anything," the post read.
But the grandmother started making rude remarks about the teen once again after a gap of a few weeks. The woman asked her mother again not to do that as it was rude to say such things, to which her mother said that "she was just concerned." After repeatedly asking not to comment about her daughter's weight, the mother said something again a few days later, which infuriated the woman in front of everyone, as she wrote, "Today, I heard her again and I just lost my mind on her in front of my daughter and basically the whole house."
The woman yelled at her aged mother, telling her to stop making ugly comments about her teenage daughter's body. Even though she had twice requested her mother in private not to say anything about the teen's body, she had refused to correct her faults. The woman pointed out to her mother that "this is beyond concern and at this point, you're body shaming her and I will not tolerate it." The grandmother was also told that if she does not have control over her words, she could leave the house.
"She left the room with her crocodile tears and went to her room. She later came to me and said I humiliated her when she was just concerned and the way I treat her is why my kids don't respect her. I told her no, my kids don't respect her because of all the horrible things she has done to me and she tried to protest, but I just walked away. I do feel a little bad for yelling at her in front of everybody, but I feel like she forced my hand. I do not regret what I did and I don't think I was in the wrong, but I'm biased, so Reddit, was I wrong?" the frustrated woman concluded her post.
Later on, she edited the post and added that she was looking into assisted living for her because of all the issues her family has been having with her. Several Reddit users left their thoughts on this situation. u/TheRadiumGirl wrote, "She was respectfully asked multiple times to keep her comments to herself. Her failure to respect your daughter's feelings resulted in her feelings being disrespected. Further, it may have done your daughter some good to see her Mom sticking up for her." u/meaniessuck quipped, "Why would your mother turn the anxiety up a notch for your probably already scared daughter? You addressed it appropriately and politely twice. Losing weight for unknown reasons can be really frightening. You defended your daughter like any mother would and should."
u/theferal1 added, "NTA, but is there a reason why you've not discussed with your 19-year-old daughter ways for her to shut grandma down on her own? There's a good chance grandma has said things before that you've not overheard. Your kids should know how to handle this and that you'd back them doing so. She is technically an adult and while she feels uncomfortable about her body, she's old enough to have been given the tools needed to tell grandma to basically stop using concern as an excuse to discuss her body."