'My partner hasn't done a load of laundry in ten years. He cooks dinner 'occasionally' He doesn't hoover, mop, or mow lawns,' writes woman.
Being a stay-at-home parent is a full-time job that does not come with a payslip or paid vacation days. Such parents, especially mothers, depend on their partners and other caregivers for help if they want to take a few days off from their mom duties. Moreover, when they take some time off, they are considered "selfish." One such parent asked on Reddit if she deserved a vacation. The mother started the post by saying that she and her husband have been together for 12 years and have three children who are 7, 4, and 2 years old. The mom said that her husband works in IT and works from 8 to 6 and goes to sleep by 8 pm. She manages all the care and household duties. Besides, she is a self-employed person. After taking care of the children all day, the mom works on the laptop for a few hours. The family lives in the UK.
Coming to the point, she mentioned that her birthday is coming up, so she asked her partner if she could book a vacation for herself for a week. She asked him if he could use his “PTO to take time off to look after and spend the week with our three children - taking them to school and taking care of the house,” wrote the Reddit user.
“He told me I was selfish. ‘It's selfish to want to go on holiday for a week for my birthday?" He said yes,” narrated the mom. She then spoke about how her husband has not really done much household work in the last 10 years. “My partner hasn't done a load of laundry in ten years. He cooks dinner 'occasionally' (2 x a month). He doesn't hoover, mop, or mow lawns. I get it, he's tired and he works full time, but I work too, and I don't feel appreciated. I just want a week where I don't have to placate a crying child, or stop the toddler from running into traffic, or worry about everyone else's good time while sacrificing my own.”
The woman shared that the last time she spent some time away from the house was when they went out for dinner for his birthday in March. Also, she clarified that the holiday would be entirely paid for by her. “He gets 28 days of PTO, not including bank holidays. Last year, he lost 12 PTO days because he didn't take them,” she concluded. The post has garnered about 9.6k upvotes. It is captioned, “AITA for wanting a week's vacation, alone, away from my partner and children?”
Many in the comment section supported the mom and said she deserved a break. u/Sea_Rise_1907 commented, “You’re not a SAHM. You have a part-time job. Your division of home labor is insanely unbalanced, and all of it falls to you. Of course your husband refuses to let you take a holiday, he’d have to actually lift a finger to parent his own children if you did. Please for your own sake book that holiday and inform him you will be going. Perhaps if he had to do a fraction of everything you’d done for years he’d finally see how unfair he’s been to you. u/FlagCityDiva wrote, “NTA There is nothing wrong about wanting time alone and being responsible for only yourself. In fact, it could be beneficial for everyone. When people burn out, it affects everyone around them. If your partner is adamant about a whole week, perhaps they'll be amenable to a three-day weekend. I hope you get a much-needed break.”