Woman confronted fiancé after discovering his 'broke' status came from funding mom's lavish lifestyle. His response ended their engagement

Having to choose between one's fiancée and their mother is not the most optimal way to begin a marriage. A 25-year-old woman who goes by u/swilyi on Reddit shared how her partner's inability to answer her question regarding her future MIL's actions led her to call off the engagement. The woman and her 26-year-old fiancé came from low-income families and had to work hard to make a good living. Her future MIL was a low-income worker too, but depended on her son heavily to fund her lavish lifestyle. Her MIL's latest trip to Italy was the last straw that broke them. The updated post had 2,900 upvotes and 143 comments. 

Dependent mother

The fiancée was working a good job, but had gone back to school to improve her job opportunities. Her fiancé's job paid less than hers, but because he worked night and weekend shifts, he made more than her. However, his mother would often ask him for money, and would use it to buy new clothes or go on luxury trips every one or two years. She also took high-interest loans, which led her to borrow more money from her son.

Before getting married, the couple planned on setting up a joint bank account. However, as the wedding date approached, she began having doubts. She wondered how long he could keep up with the extra shifts and the long working hours. He is currently living with a half-brother and pays a small amount of money as "rent," but what would happen when they move in together and start paying real bills and rent? It all boils down to how he would afford it if he were still sending money to his mother.

Could never say 'no'

Even though the fiancé did not agree with what his mother was doing, she had a way of convincing him. A few days ago, he gave her rent money, but later found out that she was actually vacationing in the Amalfi Coast. She finally sat down with him to have a serious conversation. She asked, "If we were living together, how would he do it? How would he pay three months of her mother’s rent and half of our own rent with his salary?"

In his defense, he thought she was getting evicted. He kept making excuses, and in the end, she took herself out of the situation. She wrote, "I realized I don’t want to be the reason he changes his relationship with his mom. I don’t want to be 'blamed' or get in between them." She ended up calling off the wedding because her partner failed to set boundaries with his mother.

Reasons for breaking up

People call off engagements due to several reasons, and a 2018 survey by myGemma revealed some of them. At least 50% of the breakups were due to financial stress. 7% of men and women blamed themselves for the breakup, while 13% said it was some other person's fault. 19% of couples blamed their family members for disapproving of the relationship. In the case of the author, she and her fiancé were doing well, but his mother's dependence on him strained their relationship.

'Real consequences'

Netizens approved of what the author did in the end. They supported her for breaking off the engagement, saying it would be better for her than marrying someone with a manipulative mother. u/Moemoe5 wrote, "You did the best thing for you. The dynamic between them is only going to get worse. She hadn’t paid her rent in 3 months, yet she’s traveling. He would be giving you excuse after excuse for continuously helping her and disregarding your needs." u/eloquent_owl added, "You sound like a sensible, ambitious person, and I think you’ll manage to find somebody more suitable than your ex!"

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