A woman firmly halted a co-worker's nosy inquiry into her husband's earnings, upholding her privacy.
Asking a person's salary has long been considered a sensitive and delicate topic, often creating awkward situations. This question can lead to misunderstanding, strained relationships and even perpetuate social disparities. It's often best to abstain from asking anybody this question unless they are really close to you. Even then, you stand a good chance of offending them. u/islaisla321 shared her story of a nosy coworker who relentlessly asked her about her husband's salary.
The post begins with the author discussing how she and her husband have been together since college. She then goes on to detail how her husband has had "quite the career trajectory." The author states that her husband is a quantitative researcher who makes roughly ten times what she makes. Over time the couple grew wealthy and people became more intrusive. It included everybody from friends and family to acquaintances. The author would initially entertain interrogative questions but lost her patience ever since they turned 30.
She writes, "When people ask me how much he makes, I no longer say anything. I've learned the hard way that giving an exact number can have bad consequences." She then talks about her new coworker, who is very talkative. The author describes her as an individual who wants to marry someone rich and enjoy the status that comes with that. The author writes, "She wears a bunch of flashy designer items and is always asking the ladies around the office which of the men are single."
She had no problem with this new coworker until her office hosted an "afternoon happy hour." The coworker approaches the author to inquire about her recent trip to Europe. Noticing where the conversation is going, the author summarizes the trip and tried to end the conversation. However, the coworker, being curious, asks her what exactly her husband did for a living. The author replies, "He works in finance." The coworker immediately remarks how the husband must be making a lot of money to take her on "lavish vacations." After which, she proceeds to ask the exact amount he earns. Trying not to create a scene, the author promptly replies, "Yes, we're very luck that he makes a good salary." Not sensing her discomfort, the coworker continues to inquire.
The author attempts to deflect her questions cleverly, but the coworker doesn't take a hint. The author reaches a breaking point and replies, "You should learn how to take 'no' for an answer and when to quit being a nosy b****. It's a valuable lesson." The coworker doesn't say anything and the author later finds out that she has the party early. The OP's husband agreed with her response but insisted that she apologize to her to ensure a safe work environment.
People on Reddit who read the incident sided with the author. u/Imfakingamnesia commented, "I know women like her. The type to find out it's 'million' and then start sleazing all over your husband. NTA." Another user, u/sagehoe, pointed out, "NTA. You gave her plenty of chances to shut up and take what you gave her, but she chose to try to walk all over you. Not your fault, honey." u/Stormschance shared, "NTA. I'm flabbergasted that asking a coworker what their salary is a thing, much less their partner's. It's no one's business. You were clear that you were only going to give vague answers, which is a damned sight more than I would have; she pushed harder. There are consequences to actions. You gave her hers."