Facebook user Jessica Gerson-Neeves pleaded with Vitamix for three empty boxes, one for each of her cats. The blender company was happy to send some over.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on January 11, 2022. It has since been updated.
In an absurd open letter issued to the blender company Vitamix, a woman has requested the brand to mail her an empty box because her cats have taken over the one with a new blender inside it. Posted to Facebook, the letter has received the attention of people because of just how ridiculous the request was. However, if you are a cat parent yourself, you probably believe the request is not bizarre at all. After two and a half weeks of fighting their cats for the new blender, partners Jessica Gerson-Neeves and Nikii Gerson-Neeves simply gave up and asked Vitamix to bring an end to the war, Bored Panda reports.
"My wife and I have coveted a Vitamix for several years now, as I have a chronic disease that makes fiber very difficult for me to digest and my wife is an avowed lover of smoothies," Jessica explained in her Facebook post. "Black Friday sales offered us the opportunity we hadn’t found earlier, and we finally ordered a Vitamix from Amazon the day after Thanksgiving. We were quite delighted when it arrived on our doorstep several weeks ago, and immediately brought it inside and absently set it down on the kitchen floor 'just for a quick second.' That was our first mistake, and this is where things get weird."
She continued, "We are the devoted servants of a trio of cats who go by the names of Max; George, Destroyer of Worlds; and Lando Calrissian. Mere seconds after setting down the Vitamix box, in the moments before we would’ve opened it and happily put our exciting new blender to use, Max (also known as the sentient soccer ball) spotted the box and, assuming it was for him, hopped right up on top. And that was the beginning of the end." Ever since the couple has not been able to get their hands on the blender.
Jessica stated, "That moment was two and a half weeks ago, and since then, the Vitamix box has been occupied by at least one and sometimes two cats at all times. With three cats and only two humans in the household, the humans are outnumbered and (being giant suckers), both frightened of and unwilling to forcibly relocate the offending cats... We write to you because it has become clear at this point that without herculean intervention, we’re never going to get to use the new blender we’ve been longing for years. Despite what many people have suggested, we aren’t writing to request additional Vitamixes—that would be ridiculous, and while we’re definitely ridiculous, we’re not quite that ridiculous. No, we’re writing with a stranger but far less expensive request. Is there—I cannot believe I am honestly asking this—any possibility at all that y’all would be willing to send us three (the number is very important, as there are three cats and we need there to be one extra so we can hopefully get the actual blender out of the box) empty Vitamix boxes?"
Apparently, regular cardboard boxes simply lacked the appeal of the box that the Vitamix arrived in. The internet definitely found the incident hilarious, as the post quickly garnered over 11,000 likes with nearly 4,000 shares on just this post alone. And believe it or not, Vitamix actually responded. The company took the situation very seriously. They responded, "We're firm believers that you cannot move a cat from its post. Doing so results in penultimate despair. We've contacted our support team to stop what they're doing and send the boxes." Everyone who thinks cats don't rule the universe should probably eat their words right about now.