Woman asks if she's wrong for not allowing sister to photoshop her wedding photo with late mom

Dealing with the grief of not having a parent present on a special day can be incredibly difficult. Many people find different ways to cope with their grief, but sometimes, they might overstep boundaries or ignore others' feelings. However, sometimes, people might overstep boundaries or ignore others' feelings. A similar incident happened with u/coffeetablecat, who took to Reddit to share her story. The woman said her sister wanted to photoshop herself into the woman's wedding photo with their mom, who passed away shortly after the wedding six years ago.

"The photographer took a photo of my mom fastening a necklace around my neck. My little sister has told multiple people that when she gets married, she plans to hire someone with graphic design skills to remove me from that photo and photoshop herself in my place," she shared. She had not said anything so far, but as her sister was planning her wedding, the 30-year-old was torn between taking her feelings into account and not adding to her sister's pain.

She revealed she had previously stood by her sister when they decided who would get her mom's engagement ring. Her older sisters had all lined up to get it, but she requested her dad to keep it with him a little longer and give it to her 28-year-old sister, who didn't get to have their mom at her wedding. Everyone eventually agreed. She added, "Once engaged, she decided to reset the ring so the only part of it that remains is the central diamond—it is a completely different design now and is unrecognizable. We are all miffed by that, but what's done is done."

The woman was getting married for a second time after getting divorced, so she and her sister wanted their mom's wedding dress. "She plans to alter it beyond recognition as it was a long-sleeve, A-line dress and she wants a strapless, mermaid-style dress. I proposed that we each wear it but not make significant alterations, but she brought up that 'I'm the only one who didn't get to have mom at her wedding' and I do feel for her, so I dropped my bid to wear the dress," she further added.

"At this point, I feel inclined to draw the line at removing me from my own photo with my mom. Yes, I did get to have my mom at my [first] wedding. I won't have her at my wedding to the person I'll be spending the rest of my life with, so I'm feeling some sadness there too. If someone is going to be photoshopping someone out of that picture, I feel it should be me photoshopping my 24-year-old self out for my 31-year-old self." She thought out loud if it would be wrong to tell her sister not to go ahead with her plan with her photo.

u/faxmachine13 wrote, "Hard to give judgment, but I guess I'm confused at the priorities here. She photoshopped a photo, but you still have the real photo. She changes the dress, and that dress is gone. You already gave her the ring, I'd be fighting more about the dress. I don't think you are wrong and I do feel like your sister kind of is, but I guess, I just can't relate to why the photo is the bigger issue here."

In an update she added later, the woman described how she had communicated with her sister. She told her that they could click a photo together and the mom would be photoshopped instead of removing the woman from something she cherished. The sister admitted that she had not thought about it and agreed. She also agreed not to alter their mom's wedding dress and find another one with a more appropriate design instead.