Woman asks if she is wrong for refusing to reconcile with her parents who once abandoned her

Family planning is a vital aspect. One simply cannot have a bunch of kids and then give up their responsibilities because they are too much to handle. However, there are a lot of cases around the world where parents are unable to raise their kids for various reasons and end up dumping them in foster care or under the care of their relatives. u/throwaway_9572847 shared a personal story about how her parents abandoned her when she was young just so they could take care of their other daughter.

In the header of the post, she asked if she was in the wrong for pretending not to recognize her parents when they tried to reconnect. The 21-year-old woman said throughout her childhood, her uncle and aunt raised her, as her older sister developed a serious ailment when she was 6 their parents decided they couldn't care for two kids. "They kind of unceremoniously dumped me at my grandparents and my uncle took me in. Like, they didn't even explain to me what was going on," the post read.

Her parents casually informed her that she was going to live with her grandparents for a while, but they never showed up to pick her up again. "My grandparents and uncle explained it later and they were pretty livid at my parents. I've seen my parents maybe 5 times since then and not at all for the last 9 years. I decided to stop having contact with them when I was 12 and since I was the only one reaching out, all communication broke down," the woman disclosed. But things turned out okay for her since her uncle and aunt couldn't have kids and she became their "miracle kid." 

"I was formally adopted by them when I turned 18 and I wish it had been earlier, but there were some red tape things that would have made that expensive and difficult." the post continued. "My sister passed away between Thanksgiving and Christmas and I made a trip back from school for the funeral, but I stayed in the back and left before my biological parents could talk to me. They called my uncle to try to talk to me, but I said I didn't want to, so he told them that I wasn't available at the moment." But her parents finally caught up to her during a midnight mass at Christmas when she was visiting with her grandparents. To the neglectful parent's shock, their daughter refused to recognize them.

"I just backed off and said, 'Sorry, do I know you?' They said, 'We're your parents!' and I said, 'My parents are at home' and went and sat down with my gran. They sat behind us and I could just feel the stare and on the way out, they were like, 'You don't recognize us?' and I said, 'Oh, are you my dad's brother? I think I remember you from when I was little.' My gran thinks they deserved it, trying to come back to me as if nothing happened, but they wrote me a long letter about how hurt they are and how I should understand they were trying to do the right thing and how they'll always be my parents and I can't change that," the post concluded.

Even though her other family members think she was a bit harsh for behaving like that, especially when her biological parents were grieving over the loss of their other daughter. However, the abandoned daughter felt they only returned to her because her sister was gone. The Reddit community voiced their opinion on whether she was right or wrong for acting like that with her parents. u/EvocativeEnigma wrote, "This was petty and so well deserved and I am applauding you for it! I'm glad that you ended up with parents who love and cherish you. Also, you were adopted, so they aren't your parents."

u/aaseandersen remarked, "Notice how in their letter, they only focused on themselves. How hurt they were. Then, they dared to tell you how you should be and feel. These people are garbage and deserve to know and be told repeatedly that they're garbage." u/Lish-Dish added, "They are only trying to reconnect with you because your 'sibling' died. Your 'parents' should've realized that they can't just expect you to want to talk to them again, especially since it wouldn't have happened if your sister was still alive."