Woman asks husband to save her instead of the baby in case of a childbirth complication, sparking debate

Editor's note: This article was originally published on March 7, 2023. It has since been updated.

During a delivery, things can go wrong sometimes. These situations bring face-to-face with choices you may need to make, for instance, choosing to save the life of a mom or her unborn child. It is a sensitive question, but you do need to make a choice. Anabel Morales, a TikTok user, is gaining attention for a video she posted stating that she would want her husband to pick her over their baby to save her if there were any complications during childbirth. The video, with over 6 million views, explains that she does not want her current son to grow up without a mother and leave her husband, who is grieving the loss of his wife, to raise two kids by himself. 

“To my husband,” she writes over the video footage, “If I’m giving birth, and the doctor says you need to pick between me, or the baby. Please save me. I don’t want Ethan to grow up without a mom, & I don’t want you to have to raise two babies alone while also grieving your wife.” The video resonated with many mothers who felt mixed emotions about her decision. I asked my husband this yesterday and he said “I’ll save you. We can have another baby, but I can’t get another you,” not the answer I expected," commented @kwc10130. "My hubby has always said, “We can have another baby but our kids who are already on earth can’t replace you,” added @samanthadianee2.

"Before I had a kid, I knew I would choose my wife. My daughter is 4 years old now, and my opinion has stayed the same," penned @dakkendoofer. "This! Especially if you have other kids that need you. Plus what a terrible burden for a child to know that they are the reason you’re not around," commented @melissafromri. Some users were conflicted and decided to voice their opinions in the comments. “Choose our child before me….Every time …. I’ve lived my life their life has just begun,” wrote @kaydance.self.winters. "I understand this, but I don't know I think I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did this. I’d honestly leave the choice up to my husband and I would," said @yesssies. 

Mothers all around the world continue to face many adversities during pregnancy and childbirth. The USA has one of the highest rates of maternal mortality among high-income countries. According to Commonwealth Fund, in 2018, there were 17 maternal deaths for every 100,000 live births in the U.S. The ratio doubles that of most other high-income countries. In the Netherlands, Norway and New Zealand, the maternal mortality ratio was three per 100,000 or fewer. Women of color are specifically affected by rising maternal mortality rates, reports Wilsoncenter.

“Today African American women are still three times more likely to die during pregnancy and childbirth as [white women] and it’s a gap that we haven’t been able to close for decades,” says Dr. Michael C. Lu, associate administrator of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. However, it is crucial to have a conversation with your spouse about the risks involved with being pregnant and giving birth. It is a beautiful journey, but it does not take very long for things to go south. Proper planning with shared responsibilities is what makes you a good parent. But you should also be able to make the right decision for yourself and your family.