Aili went to a bar with a friend and almost got date raped. She wants to share her story so others don't face the same experience.
Editor's note: This article was originally published on July 13, 2021. It has since been updated.
Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault
After TikTok user Aili.likes.adventure, whose legal name is Aili, underwent a traumatic experience at a bar because of a group of predatory men, she took to the social media platform to help other women who may find themselves in similar circumstances. While the only way women will truly feel safe in public spaces is if men stop being predatory, Aili's advice may be helpful in the interim. Since it was first posted on TikTok, fellow users have left comments in support. According to the young woman, she just wants to prevent her situation from happening to someone else, Bored Panda reports.
"I had a really scary experience with my friend last night," she explains in her video. "We went out for drinks at a bar that we had never been to before. My friend was up at the bar buying our second round. This guy came up to me and asked if I wanted a drink." In response to the man, Aili turned down the drink as she and her friend had already bought themselves some drinks. She then went out to the bar patio with her friend.
CW // date-rape drugs— who knows (@fernlikeinferno) July 5, 2021
Last night at a portland bar, a friend witnessed a guy drop something in my drink while walking past me on the dance floor. I had no idea it had happened and i’m so so lucky my friend told me immediately. I spoke to a bartender (and some..
The TikTok user continues, "The guy and his two friends came and sat right at the table next to us. At this point, we thought nothing of it... We just continued on with our night and ended up hitting the dance floor. We were having the time of our lives until those men showed up on the dance floor." When the men asked them to dance, they declined. However, the men were persistent. Eventually, the men tried to "shove beers" in their hands.
For nearly a year, I’ve been reporting out why date rapes are so hard to investigate and prosecute.— Alison Bowen (@byalisonbowen) July 8, 2021
Survivors feel stranded, cops and prosecutors are frustrated.
These are crimes. So why are convictions so rare?
for @chicagotribune https://t.co/mqMaE444Do
"They didn't say, 'We bought you these drinks,'" she shares. "They didn't say, 'Did you want to drink?' They just put them in our hands." Her friend ended up drinking hers immediately, but a voice in Aili's head said, "Do not drink that." The TikTok user shares, "Instead of drinking it, I put it back in his hand and I said, 'You drink it.' He was so stunned. He literally backed away and all he could say was, 'No.'" So, she stopped her friend from drinking as soon as she could and left, all while physically pushing the man off of herself.
1 in 5 US women will be the victim of attempted or completed rape in their lifetimes.— feminist next door (@emrazz) July 4, 2021
97% of women 18-25 say they’ve experienced sexual harassment in public spaces - 70% of women all ages.
45% of women believe reporting it would do nothing.
Happy “Independence” Day.
She says, "Thank God, I'm a strong a*s b*tch. My friend went from being able to dance with me and talk to me, to stumbling around, barely able to form a sentence." Ultimately, the duo made it home safe, but Aili is aware that so many women out there do not. "So please share this with someone that you think needs to hear it," she urges. "Always, always trust your intuition. If something does not feel right, it is because it is not right."
Men don’t give women drugs like quaaludes that knock them out ahead of consensual sex. That’s it. That’s the tweet.— Joyce Alene (@JoyceWhiteVance) July 1, 2021
In response, dozens of users offered advice and thanked Aili for sharing her story. One TikTok user wrote, "I don't know a woman who doesn't have a story like this. I'm glad you're okay." Another added, "Thanks for posting this. I would call the bar and see if they have surveillance and if the perps paid with a debit or credit card. They should be charged." While legal recourse may not always be accessible to people who experience this, it is important for more victims to stand up and share their stories if they feel safe and comfortable enough to do so. Ultimately, the onus is not on victims to not get assaulted, it is on perpetrators to not assault.