13-year-old tragedy made her swear off adopting kids — then a single diary entry changed it all

Every child deserves to be brought up in an environment where they feel loved, cared for, and at peace — this sets the base for their needs as an adult, too. A study by Christie Schoenmaker and others suggests that foster kids who were brought up in a calm and welcoming environment had a happier childhood, resulting in a more secure adulthood. Kari Cox from West Virginia is one person who has made it her life's mission to ensure she can provide a safe and loving home to as many foster kids as possible. Cox swore to never adopt after losing the first child she fostered, but it was one diary entry that changed her perspective and eventually drove her to foster as many as 14 kids — CBS Sunday Morning reported. 

Reporter Steve Hartman shares the story of a mother, Kari Cox, residing in Culloden, West Virginia, with her husband, Bill, and their adopted children — many of them disabled — in a large house. She tirelessly, selflessly, and patiently works all through the day to provide them with a safe and happy environment — she does their laundry, cooks, cleans, and even feeds a few who have difficulty eating on their own. One of the kids in the video says jokingly, “My mom does 99.9 percent of the work — my dad does 0.1.” Even Bill seems to agree that without Kari, the house would fall apart.

As beautiful as it may sound, what motivates her to keep going is tragic. 13 years ago, the couple had adopted a girl from China named Marybeth with high-functioning autism — the first time she saw Kari, she said, “Oh, I didn’t know I was getting a fat mom.” The girl grew up, received hundreds of accolades for math, and enrolled at Marshal University. In her senior year, she unfortunately got hit by a car and died, which made Kari swear off adopting again because “the pain outweighed the joy.” However, on a random day, while grieving, she found Marybeth's journal where she had written, “God gave you what many may never have — a loving family that will always be here, no matter what.” After realizing how happy they had made Marybeth, the couple adopted 4 more children; Kari says, “Their need was greater than my pain.”

Research by Grace H. Christ and others suggests that the parents who lose their children — both adolescents and younger — to death suffer a variety of difficult mental and physical symptoms. Most losses result in feelings of depression along with intense emotions like sadness, despair, helplessness, and a wish to disappear. Parents are likely to suffer many physical symptoms, including insomnia, loss of appetite, confusion, inability to concentrate, and obsessive thinking, which can deteriorate their health extremely. Further, they can experience extreme feelings of vulnerability, anxiety, panic, and hypervigilance. 

After watching the heartbreaking video, viewers shared their feelings. @christineturner2964 advised, “I wish they had extended the piece to show how this is possible. Most people never consider fostering. So, we should demonstrate how it is achievable.” @THEMCMLXXXVI shared a similar incident, “This one got me because her daughter is dead. Dead and she looked in the mirror and said to herself, ‘Let’s do this again,’ I’ve been broken over my dog of 15 years that I lost and swore off another. After this, I realized how selfish I’ve been. Thank you.” Finally, @josephprice4095 wished, “What a beautiful soul and a wonderful family. May God bless all of them and grant them His peace.”