Woman accepts boyfriend's marriage proposal in public to spare his feelings, but rejects it privately

It takes every ounce of courage for men to pop the big question to their girlfriends—from gathering the confidence to choosing the appropriate time and finalizing the ring. Ultimately, however, all the efforts seem worthwhile if the woman says yes. But what if she accepts the public proposal and rejects him in private? A woman on Reddit, u/Nearby-Package8535, clarified her decision. 

The 26-year-old woman revealed she had been dating her 28-year-old boyfriend for about three years. She wrote, "Things have been good, but I've been clear that I'm not ready for marriage just yet. I've told him I need more time to feel comfortable with such a big step." The woman recalled that a few weeks back, she was invited to her boyfriend's dad's 60th birthday bash where all his close friends and family members were present. 

"During the event, he got everyone's attention, got down on one knee, and proposed to me in front of all his friends and family. I was completely caught off guard and panicked. I've heard stories about how rejecting someone in public can humiliate them, and I really didn't want to do that to him. So, I said 'yes' at the moment. Everyone cheered, and he looked so happy. I felt horrible for misleading him, but didn't know what else to do," she wrote.

But in private she rejected his proposal. When driving her back after the party, she told him she wasn't ready for marriage. "I told him privately that I only said 'yes' to avoid embarrassing him in front of everyone. I thought being honest in private was the best thing to do," she wrote. However, he got upset and said she humiliated him more because now he has to respond to friends and family flooding him with congratulatory messages. 

Though she accepted that she put him in an uncomfortable position, she also argued, "[I] feel like he put me on the spot in front of everyone without considering my feelings." She then asked the Reddit community to share their opinions. u/Longjumping_Desk_839 validated her feelings: "He asked you publicly when you'd been clear that you're not ready for marriage yet. You were nice by not embarrassing him."

u/Training-GuavaGrape supported the woman's decision: "He proposed to you in front of his family knowing you weren't ready. That's unfair and cruel." Meanwhile, u/Big-B-In612 advised to break up as soon as possible: "This relationship is over. End it now. It will save you both a lot of heartache in the long run."

u/Inevitable_Pie9541 asked a valid question: "Do you want to marry this guy, at all? Ever? 3 years is a good long while to still not be sure." 

After that was all said and done, they continued to date. In an interview with Bored Panda, the OP revealed how their relationship unfolded after she rejected his wedding proposal. "At first, it was rough," she recalled. "So after some thought, I called him and asked him to meet up at a restaurant." Unfortunately, the conversation didn't go well, and after a heated argument, he stormed out of the eatery. But they later contacted each other through messages and tried to sort things out: "So I guess, in a way, it all worked out in the end for now."