Wife works three jobs while her husband looks after their kids, sparking fierce debate on gender roles

Balancing work and family life can look different for everyone, but not every setup gets the internet buzzing like this one. A mom of four recently went viral for sharing her family's unconventional dynamic. The mom, Lauren—who goes by @budgetbylauren on TikTok—works three jobs while her husband stays home as the primary caregiver.

“Most people hate our family dynamic. They accuse me of hating my kids and don’t think my husband is manly enough. Most [people] encourage him to ‘escape,’ and we get both accusations of me financially abusing him or him being lazy and taking advantage of me,” she said in her interview with Newsweek.

Lauren’s unique arrangement began over a decade ago when she and her husband decided against daycare for their kids. At the time, she was working as a full-time teacher while her husband worked at Target. Unwilling to become a stay-at-home mom, Lauren and her husband agreed that he would stay home to take on the role of primary caregiver. Lauren juggled a demanding schedule that sometimes kept her away for 12 hours at a time. She earned her master’s degree just six days after the birth of her second child, which allowed her to take on evening teaching jobs at a community college.

Despite her success, the intense workload often left her grappling with mom guilt. The couple’s balance was further disrupted when Lauren faced health issues that forced her to reduce her work hours, plunging the family into debt. By early 2020, with their children entering school, her husband rejoined the workforce full-time to help stabilize their finances. However, their lives took another turn when the COVID-19 pandemic hit. “It was a really dark time for our family,” Lauren admitted. “We did not get along. We were not meant to be cooped up like that. It was hard for both of us to get our jobs done. He ended up ending that job at the end of that year.”

Lauren transitioned to remote work and took up baking as a side hustle, selling macarons at farmers’ markets. Although the business was successful, it only heightened her feelings of mom guilt, eventually leading her to close it. She later found another online teaching job and began offering classes on an online platform. “I started sharing my budgeting routine online after seeing others share their payday routines,” Lauren explained. Currently, Lauren works between 60 and 80 hours a week while her husband manages the household and cares for their two younger children. Lauren also noted that their setup isn’t permanent. Once their kids are older and back in school, her husband plans to return to the workforce.

In her viral video, which has garnered over 1 million views, she talked about how she manages her household with her husband while also working three remote jobs. However, it sparked debate on the platform. @teenytinypickle said, "Sister, what does your husband do while he is at home?" @girasoljanexis added, "Girl, run! You are worth more!" Many supported her decision. @seasonmom said, "I don’t get why people are okay with stay-at-home moms but not dads."

@spiritual_trapbook85 said, "I don't understand worrying about other people's life dynamics...y'all seem happy, all that matters." Lauren addressed the criticism, per the outlet, by saying, “I’m just sharing a life that works for us. Our kids are so lucky to have two parents at home who love each other. I think it’s becoming more common to see dads step up and raise the kids and women who provide for their families. Most people are upset by how much I work, and it’s a lot, but I’ve always been a busy person.”

You can follow Lauren (@budgetbylauren) on TikTok for more budgeting content.