Wife stands up for herself when husband gets angry over looking after kids in her absence

Parenting is a shared responsibility. To stay rejuvenated, both partners need downtime, as its absence can strain their relationship. A Reddit user, u/user, a 26-year-old mother of two, shared how her husband reacted negatively when asked to look after their daughters on his day off. While he works full-time, she manages childcare. One day, she needed him to step in while she ran errands.

“I needed to go to the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) to update my ID and then take my 4-year-old to the pediatrician. I wasn’t planning to take the kids to the DMV as that sounds like literal hell and my 4-year-old has anxiety about going to the doctor and needs my full attention, so I wasn’t going to take the baby with us,” she explained. The woman also added that they were trying to buy a house and had scheduled to look at houses after the errands. Even though she had informed him in advance, he got a little agitated that he would have to look after the kids.

“He asked if I was taking the kids with me to the DMV. I said no and he went, ‘Ugh! Really?’ Which I didn’t respond to,” the mom pointed out. The husband then angrily said, “Well, I can tell you right now, if I’m watching your kids all day, we’re not going to be looking at houses tonight.” Perplexed, the woman asked, “My kids?” And the husband repeated himself. The mom was upset and replied, “Fine, I’ll take ‘my’ kids with me to the DMV. I’ll take them both to the pediatrician too. Why should I expect help with ‘my’ kids, right? God forbid their ‘father’ take care of them.” 

The mother recalled it wasn’t the first instance of her husband expressing frustration about caring for the kids alone. She usually involves the children in errands, except when attending appointments. She acknowledged that the husband needs time to himself, which he mostly gets while the trio runs errands. “But the comments and huffs when I have to leave them home are infuriating, and I have told him that. Even if I plan things during the baby’s nap, he’ll still say something like, ‘’Well, what if she wakes up before you get back?’ Like, okay? Are you not her dad?” the woman remarked.

The husband clarified that his comment about not looking at houses wasn't meant as a punishment but rather an expression of anticipated exhaustion from a day with the kids. Nevertheless, his tone and choice of words left his wife feeling hurt. Supporters on Reddit rallied around the woman, emphasizing that, given the circumstances, her husband should be more proactive in helping. u/idreaminwords said, “I sure hope none of your kids heard the 'your kids' comment. What an awful thing for him to say.” u/Sharp-Medicine7326 exclaimed, “He agrees that being home with the kids isn't a break. So what day of the week is your kid-free day?”