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'Not his personal secretary': Wife shares list of things she won't do for her husband, sparks debate

While she is ready to do small acts of kindness, she explains that domestic labor is a big 'no' for her and people have mixed opinions about it.

'Not his personal secretary': Wife shares list of things she won't do for her husband, sparks debate
Cover Image Source: TikTok | @sheisapaigeturner

In marriages, the topic of equality often crops up during discussions. Nowadays, people don't believe in stereotypical roles of a woman in a relationship but there are some who still cannot fathom the idea of a man sharing household chores. Recently, Paige (@sheisapaigeturner), a working mom of four who often makes parenting and career-related content on TikTok, shared a video that caused a stir on the internet. She lists out the things she doesn't do for her husband and explains why it isn't her responsibility to serve him. The video gained over 2.8 million views and Paige's perspective received mixed responses. 

Image Source: TikTok | @sheisapaigeturner
Image Source: TikTok | @sheisapaigeturner

In several of her earlier videos, Paige has mentioned that she doesn't do her husband's laundry. However, it wasn't received well by many. This time, Paige not only added more chores to the list but also reasoned out her views. "Small acts of kindness that are mostly domestic labor just add up to work at the end of the day," said Paige. When it comes to laundry, Paige and her husband do theirs separately while sharing the responsibility of their kids' laundry. Second, Paige explained that she doesn't cook dinner because she takes the kitchen when it comes to breakfast and lunch and her husband cooks dinner every night.

Image Source: TikTok | @sheisapaigeturner
Image Source: TikTok | @sheisapaigeturner

"I don't make his doctor's appointments because guess what? He's not making mine," Paige mentioned. Though her husband's health was still a priority she knew that he was a grown-up who knew very well how to make his own appointments and that it wasn't her job. "I don't schedule his haircuts. I don't pack his clothes for vacations I don't buy him new underwear when it's got holes in it," Paige added to the list. People have previously criticized her outlook saying that women doing these chores was just an expression of kindness and love towards their husbands. So, Paige emphasized that her perspective of small acts of kindness was not domestic labor. It was things like being thoughtful and buying her husband's favorite vinyl or some new food that he would love to try.

Image Source: TikTok | @sheisapaigeturner
Image Source: TikTok | @sheisapaigeturner

Paige, however, didn't deny that she would gladly do the domestic labor if her husband needed help and was busy with work. However, not doing it on a regular basis was simply because she and her husband understood their roles in the marriage and decided to be equals. "It is not my job as a wife to do all the domestic labor as small acts of kindness and receive nothing in return. If it's going both ways, fantastic," she said. "I am not my husband's personal secretary or his personal assistant. I'm his partner, I'm his equal and I do not have to do things to cater to him and serve him at all times," Paige concluded. While many welcomed Paige's approach, some were against it.

Image Source: TikTok |  butterflynay8605
Image Source: TikTok | @butterflynay8605
Image Source: TikTok | @not_the_one_today1
Image Source: TikTok | @not_the_one_today1

"Who in your household washes the cars? Cuts the grass? Cleans the pool? Takes out the garbage? The car oils changes?" questioned @beachtraveldestinations in retaliation. "Times have changed for sure. I take pride in doing all of those things for my husband. In fact, I’ll do it for my grown children too!" said @brenda_eastcoast. "Your love language is gift giving and not acts of service. Other people may be different," added @katmarjohn33.

Image Source: TikTok | @gennyharmonn
Image Source: TikTok | @gennyharmonn
Image Source: TikTok  | @user66511427795420
Image Source: TikTok | @user66511427795420

Thousands came in Paige's defense. "Exactly a lot of men think that having a wife is like having a personal assistant. If that’s the case pay me by the hour," said @iloveme_011. "Same. I never wanted to set the precedent that all the domestic labor should fall on me," pointed out @tiyanarobinsonbeauty. "I think this is so healthy. And cannot believe people are shocked by this," added @this_sunny_home.


@sheisapaigeturner Replying to @rafael it’s important to show your partner, love and kindness. And I believe in small acts of kindness for a partners. However, expecting your partner to do your laundry and all of the cooking and all of the cleaning, is not the same qe small acts of kindness. All of those things are domestic labor and then when add it up, create a lot of work. #domesticlabor #actsofkindness #actsofservice #marriagegoals #fairplay #millennialmom #mentalload #laundry ♬ original sound - Paige

 

You can follow Paige (@sheisapaigeturner) on TikTok for motherhood and relationship content.

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