After his dad died, his wife refused to let him adopt his sister — he knew exactly what to do

Coming through for family during challenging times is a duty that should be embraced wholeheartedly. A 28-year-old Reddit user revealed in a since-deleted post that he wanted to fulfill his duty by adopting his 11-year-old sisters after their dad’s passing. However, his wife was reluctant and refused, according to Bored Panda. The woman wanted to be childfree, and having an 11-year-old was as good as having a child. Ultimately, after much heated tension, the man stood his ground as a brother and fought for his sister. The man mentioned that his dad passed away from cancer. The 11-year-old had two options — to live with her brother or her uncle.

She chose her brother since she was connected and comfortable with him. “We do not have kids, and we do not plan to. Due to the age gap, I’m more like another father than a brother,” he remarked. He discussed the situation with his wife, who clearly mentioned that she never wanted to have kids. Moreover, since there was another good option for the girl, she wasn’t onboard with her husband’s plan. “My sister has no parents, and I want to make sure she can recover and be healthy,” the man noted. Since his sister chose him, he insisted that he adopt her. After much tension, the man finally decided that he was going to adopt the 11-year-old no matter what.

“She can either accept it, or we can get divorced,” he gave an ultimatum. Since the conversation, there was even more escalation, and the couple was reduced to barely talking to each other. In an update, it was revealed that the duo decided to separate. The wife was upset because her husband chose his sister over her. However, the man was clear, “Yes, my sister takes priority now, I am choosing her over you,” he told his wife. Dealing with the death of a parent is already devastating, and the challenging life changes it brings require support. A study published by Taylor and Francis revealed that adults go through a lot after losing their parents. For them, it’s like a “secure base” suddenly shattered. It rearranges the entire family system and can cause instability.

The sudden change in family dynamics can force children to take on more responsibilities than they can handle, along with looking after other members of the family. Fern Schumer Chapman, author and counselor, who focuses on sibling relationships, revealed that brothers and sisters have the power to shape each other’s identities, reported Psychology Today. Right from being playmates and rivals to learning different qualities, siblings shape our perspectives. This eventually affects how our relationships with colleagues, friends, partners, and so on are formed. It was also noted that during challenging times with parents, having the support of an emotionally stable sibling can be beneficial to the other. And that’s just what the man was trying to be to his sister.

 According to the internet, he “dodged a bullet” by separating from his wife, who didn’t show compassion in such an unprecedented situation. u/itsallminenow said, “To my mind, this isn't a choice, it's the result of a circumstance nobody wanted. What loving brother could do less?” u/WildlyUninteresting added, “Stepping up for a child is so honorable. As long as you try, you gave your sister something she could never get elsewhere.”

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