Wife pleads with her husband to take care of himself and after watching him slowly turn into a 'robot'

Relationships often change over time, but sometimes, those changes can feel like losing the person you once knew. A 32-year-old woman’s heartfelt post from five years ago delves into this struggle as she opens up about her husband’s emotional withdrawal and her attempts to reach him. The wife, u/throwRA-193837472772, shared her concerns about her 36-year-old husband of six years and a father of two with a third child on the way. The post began with her describing her husband’s daily routine, which appeared picture-perfect. He worked a 9-to-5 job, came home, did chores, spent time with their kids, talked to her, and then went to bed.

“He doesn’t seem to enjoy doing any of it. Like this whole thing is one big chore,” she wrote. She recalled how he used to be a goofy, lighthearted person who smiled and told jokes but admitted, “I haven’t seen the man smile in months. It’s not like he’s neglecting his duties as a husband and father, but he acts like it’s just that, duties. Like hanging with the kids and me is a second job.”

She expressed gratitude for everything he did to make their lives easier but feared he was on autopilot, possibly battling depression. When she tried to broach the subject with him, he brushed it off with a cheerful yet robotic “Fantastic.”

She explained, “That’s the line he uses at work when customers try to make small talk and ask how he’s doing.” She observed that he no longer took breaks or engaged in any hobbies—no gaming, no TV—just an endless cycle of completing tasks. The woman noted that their intimacy also took a hit.

She concluded, “I miss my husband, the guy who complained and told jokes. Not this robotic shell that looks like him.” The comments section was filled with compassionate advice from readers.

u/MouthwashAndBandaids suggested, “Can you show him this post? It is very well written and is coming from a place of concern. It sounds like he is having signs of depression.”

u/chromroy added, “Sometimes if you don’t have new things happening and today feels eerily like yesterday, it can feel like a loop, which then brings about emptiness and without purpose. It sounds like he needs a hobby or something new to strive for..” Not everyone agreed with pushing him to open up.

u/Titinaki cautioned, '"Hey, I see all these comments asking you to push him and ask him questions. That will drive him even further into the ‘depression’ state that he currently is. When you’re in bed, let him know that you can see something is troubling his mind and when he’s ready to talk it out, you’ll be there for him and that you love him. 'I just want you to smile again' seems a little bit selfish. As you said, he needs to smile for himself, not because he feels like he has to. Men have sometimes complex feelings as women."'

Later, she updated in another Reddit post. She showed him the original post, and his reaction stunned her.

“He started crying, like full-on crying,” she wrote. He revealed feeling immense pressure as the sole provider, often throwing up from stress but hiding it. He worried sharing his struggles would make her see him differently. They agreed to plan a vacation before the baby’s arrival and introduced daily “daddy time” for him to unwind.