Wife garners support for refusing to attend sister’s wedding after her paraplegic husband was excluded

Many of us expect some inconsiderate behavior from others, but it’s particularly infuriating when it comes from close family or longtime friends, especially toward someone we love. Situations like these can be particularly challenging, as was the case for a 36-year-old woman on Reddit, u/Direct-Armadillo-770, who was torn about attending her sister's wedding because her paraplegic husband was excluded. When she sought the internet's help, hundreds of supportive responses poured in.   

In a short introduction, the woman mentioned she was married to a paraplegic man named Brad, who worked as a university professor. What she loved about Brad was how resilient that man was despite his physical condition. "He was in a car accident when he was 21. He has since his accident gone back to school and currently works as a university professor. He is super independent and possibly the best man I could ever marry," she wrote. She was also thrilled that Brad loved her 10-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.

So, the 36-year-old was upset that her sister showed little concern for her husband when planning the wedding venue. It was to be held at a "heritage building" which was not wheelchair-accessible. When the woman pointed it out, her sister simply brushed it off saying, "The world doesn’t revolve around Brad, it’s not his day! It’s mine." Though she understood it was her sister's day, the loving wife didn't want to leave her husband behind to attend the wedding. When she said that she wouldn't be at the wedding, the sister accused her of "stealing the attention," as everyone would be inquiring about the bride's sister. 

"Her fiancé suggested having the ceremony at the heritage building but having the reception at another venue that way Brad can join us. My sister said no," she mentioned. However, Brad was totally cool with missing out on the wedding because he could spend some time with his stepdaughter. "It’s a child-free wedding and we were initially going to ask Brad’s mom to watch my daughter," she pointed out. "He (Brad) thinks it’s not a big deal and I should just go and enjoy the wedding. I feel very bad and don’t want to go but my sister will be so upset," she added. The wife wondered if she was wrong to react this way because her husband was excluded but people told her that she was right all along.

"It’s well within her rights to have her wedding wherever she wants. It’s also within your rights to decline her invitation because you don’t want to exclude your husband. If she cared about your attendance, that would be a great way of having the best of both worlds," noted u/MandiLandi. "It's very telling that her response to you not going is 'what will people think?' instead of that she wants you to be there because you're her sister. I personally would not go, especially as she also turned down her partner's suggestion to make the reception accessible," pointed out u/Healthy_Coast. "If your sister hadn’t responded that way, I would have advised you to follow Brad’s advice. But the way she responded was vile, obnoxious, dismissive, and ableist," added u/NomDePseudo.