Wife demands husband to stop supporting his kids by giving money to ex, sparking debate

Being the sole breadwinner for a family is challenging, but it becomes even more complicated when balancing responsibilities between a current family and one from a previous relationship. Reddit user u/Practical-Wind-5594, a father of three (ages 11, 13, and 16) and stepfather to his wife’s children from her previous relationship, shared his struggle online. In his post, he revealed that his wife demanded he stop giving money to his ex, sparking a heated debate.

Even though he does not pay a fixed amount of child support each month, he still co-parents with his ex over a legal arrangement. They meet at the end of each month to discuss the expenses of the upcoming months involving their kids. He also puts away an emergency fund. His ex also supports him financially or in any other way when he needs help. Unlike the man and his ex, his current wife, with two teenage children, doesn't have a healthy relationship with their dad. Troubles started when his wife's ex lost his job and his child support was reduced since his income changed. The Reddit user thought his wife and her ex had the same co-parenting relationship as him and his ex, but he was wrong.

His current wife started complaining when she stopped getting enough funds from her ex to pamper herself. "I pay what I need for my kids. I pay my mortgage on time. I pay my bills on time. I pay for all my insurance. I don't have a lot left for savings once that's all gone. But my wife wants what's left, and she wants me to cut back on what I give my ex," the husband wrote in his post. Despite her not paying for any household expenses, the man wondered where his wife's salary from her part-time job disappeared. The couple started having more arguments over money. The husband stated that he would put his children first over her leisurely demands.

In frustration, he told his wife to call her lawyer and move out if she wasn’t happy with the arrangement. In updates to his post, he explained that they had agreed to keep finances separate before getting married. "She did contribute financially towards the household pre-pandemic. Unfortunately, she had to close her business due to the pandemic and her business never recovered. This is when I took over all household expenses. When she gained employment, because it was only part-time, I continued paying all our expenses," the man added.

"I don't financially support my ex. I support my kids. The same goes for their schooling and everything they need. I really don't see why the amount I give my ex for my kids matters. I would give my kids 100% of my paycheck if they needed it, even if that meant I had to live in my car and cook ramen. My ex would let me sleep on her couch if it ever came to that," the man concluded his post, questioning if he was wrong to not listen to his wife, who demanded him to stop paying for his kids and ex. The Reddit users promptly supported the man. 

u/Agitatedgirl- wrote, "Sounds like she needs to work full-time if she's broke! And being a product of a broken home, I want to say good for you for being what sounds like a wonderful co-parent! It makes such a difference to children when they see their parents working together!" u/CoffeeIcedBlack remarked, "This is pure greed. This isn't about her needs. This is about her wants and luxuries. Her ex was giving her money for child support, and she was spending it on the spa, hair appointments, probably nails and clothes." u/gemmygem86 added, "I stopped reading after your wife had kids with a horrible ex. Let me guess, she wants you to pay for her kids and not yours. Run fast."