Wife criticizes husband for being a 'doormat' but is stunned when he decides to leave her over it

Words are an important means of communication; they can help us express our thoughts and help us build bridges of understanding. However, words also can wound and leave scars that cannot be healed. This stands true even in the most candid relationships. A man, u/throwra_manly, recently took to Reddit to ask the community if he was at fault for leaving his wife after she kept making comments about him not being manly enough. 

"We’d been together since we were 18. She was my first everything whereas she’d been with a few people before me. We have an 18-year-old daughter together who is an amazing, brilliant and kind person; I couldn’t have asked for a better kid," the man wrote at the beginning of the post. He then goes on to talk about the recent years in which his wife has constantly passed comments on his manliness. "I’ve just brushed it off but she’s really stepped it up the last year and I ended up leaving her about three months ago over it," he wrote. He then goes on to write how he considers himself to be quite manly.

"I’m tall; I work out a few times a week. I can do any DIY around the house, and I can fix cars. I used to be an amateur boxer and cage fighter and still do it as a hobby to keep fit. The things she said that aren’t manly about me are: I like to bake, I like to cook, I don’t drink, and I don’t care if other people do; it’s just not for me," he wrote. 

He goes on to say how there are other traits that many may consider to be the opposite of manly. For example, he enjoys listening to songs by Taylor Swift, Charlie XCX, Ariana Grande, Sabrina Carpenter, etc. "My main choice in music will always be rap but having a teenage daughter these sorts of artists get played and I like some of their songs so I listen to them. I don’t see that as a bad thing," he added.

He then goes on to write, that he even has a powerful car and a motorbike and yet likes to travel by VW Up. "It’s a small car with a little engine but if it’s just me and my gym bag or work bag I don’t see the problem plus I’m not one of them who feels like a car someone drives means anything. My ex-wife disagreed and said I give off a certain vibe in it," he added.

The man then talks about other traits that made his wife think that he wasn't manly enough. "I tend to walk away from arguments with strangers. She perceives any slight as a personal insult. If you cut in front of her in traffic, she’s leaning on the horn; don’t say thank you if you hold a door open; she’s screaming and shouting at you. I just prefer to let things slide," he wrote. 

He further talks about how his likes and dislikes made his wife feel as if she were living with not one but two teenage daughters. "In September, I left her. I said I can’t be spoken to like this anymore and be belittled. It’s not fair. Even then she had a dig and said a real man would change. She’s changed her tune since, and said she’s willing to go to both individual and couple's therapy, and try and sort out her issues," he added. He says that after leaving her, he has only felt more relaxed and happier. 

People in the comment section sided with the man and asked him to stop second-guessing his decision and to serve her with a divorce.

"Double down and commit to leaving. You're happy and you don't have young kids to worry about. Your soon-to-be ex should've corrected when you communicated how you felt," wrote u/tntdon. "And!! Doesn’t need to prove that he is stronger or more manly. I know I can win a fight and choose to walk away and not hit someone at the bar vibe is such a turn-on!!! His ex is starting to understand what she lost," added u/ZealousidealStyle247.