Wife chooses self-respect over love after overhearing husband and his family bad mouthing her on vacay

Family vacations are typically a chance to strengthen bonds and create cherished memories. But for one Reddit user, u/throwaway3743p9, her trip with her husband’s family became an unexpected nightmare. In her post titled, "AITA (am I the a***ole) for going home after I overheard my husband say he didn't want to bring me with him to his family vacation?" 

She began by explaining that her husband typically goes on annual family vacations with his side of the family, and she’s usually fine with it since they’ve only been married for a short time. "I don't see his family much, we still have that barrier that keeps us from being completely comfortable around each other. His family arranged for the vacation last week. I out of curiosity asked if I could come," the woman wrote. 

Though her husband was a bit hesitant at first, he agreed when his wife told him that it'd be a great opportunity for her to break the ice with his family members. "His family were surprised to see me but still welcomed me. On the 3rd day of the vacation. His dad, mom, brothers and spouses were all sitting at a table outside talking while I was preparing a fruit salad," the post continued.

As she walked back to join them, she overheard her mother-in-law ask if her son’s wife had nowhere else to spend the weekend. "At first, I had no idea who she was talking about so I kept on walking, but stopped once I overheard my husband say 'I know!' and 'I didn't want to bring her with me but what was I supposed to do? You know how pushy she can get'," the post elaborated.

Heartbroken, she quickly realized they were talking about her. "This whole time I was there, I cleaned, cooked, took care of the kids and this is how they think of me? An inconvenience to them? I quietly booked a ticket and went home on the first plane. He called and texted but I didn't respond anything other than let him know I was home. He returned and went off on me saying what I did was disrespectful and juvenile," she clarified on the post.

The woman also informed her husband about their conversation which she overheard. "I was wrong for eavesdropping and that his family will eventually warm up to me on their terms so I should stop pushing to be around that when they don't feel comfortable with it. Basically, he was saying that it was my fault for coming along in the first place. He said that going home disappointed his family and gave them a really bad impression of me." After her husband criticized her for choosing self-respect, she began doubting her decision: "I think that I might have messed this up and somehow ruined it for them as well."

Reddit community collectively sided with the woman and claimed that she wasn't in the wrong for flying back home. u/No_Reception8456 wrote, "I've never seen a clearer example of gaslighting. Disgusting." u/Cyndaquil155 quipped, "I think they're only upset she left because once she was gone they missed having the vacation nanny around. If she stays, they will bully and mold her into this role to gain their love and acceptance."

u/popperpurplepuff added, "This man is supposed to be your husband and he openly told his family that he wished you weren't there. Girl! Why are you with him? Why are you putting up with someone who clearly doesn't value you as his wife or even a person? He could've been supportive of your efforts but he chose to side with his family and just alienate you despite your help and attempts at getting along with family. Honestly, from this little amount of information, he sounds like an unsupportive and gaslighting person."