Wife asks if she's wrong for not cooking food for husband after he refuses to do the dishes

In marriages where both partners contribute to household income, being an equal partner in all aspects, including chores, is vital for success. However, a wife (u/ApplicationOdd8566) found herself in a fix when her husband refused to help her with household chores. She took to Reddit to discuss her dilemma and ask if she made a wrong decision by not cooking for her husband. The woman shared that she and her husband are in their 30s. She loves cooking for her family of three, which includes her 4-year-old son. 

She wrote, "I don't typically make things that take 100 dishes or leave a massive mess, but there's usually a couple of pots and pans, some utensils, and a cutting board. After I plate up our meals and serve, we all eat together." Also, she added that after finishing their meals, her son put his plate in the dishwasher and so did her husband. It left her with cleaning the utensils she used to prepare the meal. She wrote, "I have brought this up to my husband and asked if he could do the dishes after I cook as I'm tired from doing the cooking. He says that since I made the mess, I should deal with it myself."

The wife felt mad after hearing her husband's refusal to help her, but she didn't say anything. She also didn't ask him to help her again. But the next day, when she cooked, she prepared food enough for her and her son. It baffled her husband as there was no meal for him.

The woman explained, "I told him if he wasn't going to do his part for the meal, then he could make his own. I think this is fair! If he thinks cleaning our dishes from our shared meal that I worked to make is wrong, then he can handle his own food!" She also gave more background on their responsibilities within the household and wrote, "I am not a stay-at-home parent. We both work full time and I handle most of the house and kid stuff. His job is manual labor and mine is a desk job." People in the comments section echo the sentiment and agree that the woman was not wrong.

u/Hikes_with_Dogs wrote, "I cook every night. My spouse does the dishes. It's called division of labor. Your spouse should get a clue. I like your malicious compliance!" u/Hjorrild wrote, "I would take this even further. For an entire month, I would only do stuff for myself and my son. Did he make his clothes dirty? He can do his own laundry. He can cook for himself. He can iron his own clothes. He can clean up his mess. I would not vacuum around where he normally sits, etc. It's his line of reasoning and I would run amok with it." On the other hand, u/LastandLeast wrote, "I will caveat this when my husband cooks, he tends to use a lot more dishes and be messier in general. If I cook, I'm good at keeping it to 1-2 pans and the cutting board. For a long time, we each cleaned up after cooking because I wasn't about to touch the mess he made when I could've made dinner and cleaned up with less effort."