Why 'we love our sons and raise our daughters' rings true for so many women around the world

"We love our boys, but we raise our girls," Michelle Obama said in a powerful interview with poet Elizabeth Alexander at the first annual Obama Foundation Summit, according to Curly Nikki. She explained, "We raise them to be strong, and sometimes we take care not to hurt men and I think we pay for that a little bit and that’s a ‘we’ thing because we raise them. It’s powerful to have strong men but what does that strength mean? Are we protecting our men too much so they feel a little entitled and a little, you know, a little self-righteous sometimes? But, that’s kind of on us too as women and mothers, you know, as we nurture men and push girls to be perfect."

For many women, Michelle Obama's words hit home, reflecting the difference they experienced growing up alongside their brothers. Ossiana Tepfenhart wrote for YourTango about how many girls she knew were asked to act as semi-parents for their brothers while the boys were applauded for the most basic things. She would often hear moms say, "Boys are so much easier to parent. They need so little." However, she noticed that the sons of these moms were often not doing very well in life as they were mostly left to their own devices and appreciated for whatever they did while the girls were held up to much higher standards.

Tepfenhart argued that sons aren't actually easier to parent—it only seems that way because many mothers shower them with affection while making their daughters handle household tasks, including caring for their brothers. These moms don't "parent" their sons. The author pointed out how these moms not only don't teach them essential tasks but often neglect their emotional needs which leads to men who are angry with their mothers. She highlighted the importance of discipline for the emotional growth of a person and how many men realize the effects of their parents' coddling as adults. She even explained how the neglect might seem appealing because they don't have to participate in chores but hits them hard later on.

u/lechatellier shared a post on Reddit about the same concept. The person wrote, "I think the mother-daughter relationship is one of the most difficult kinds of interpersonal relationships anyone can have. Did anyone else, particularly those with brothers, grow up feeling this way?" She added, "I wanted to see if any other daughters of mothers experienced this. Of course, if you are male and were abused by your mother, this dynamic and scenario is not going to resonate with or apply to your situation. We all come here from different experiences and origin points, and this happens to be mine."

u/WormwoodWaltz wrote, "My brother is the golden child, helped with everything, didn't have to do anything for himself until well into adulthood. I and all of my sisters were treated second rate, made to do chores from a young age, belittled about our appearance and life choices, and constantly told she was just 'preparing us for life' as a wife and mother. Then she wonders why I have yet to become a wife and mother, lol." u/92925 shared, "My Mom expects me what she expects from a husband - money, emotional support, changing light bulbs, raising my younger sibling."