Wedding videographer shares simple 'piece of advice' with groom — and every husband needs to hear it

Weddings are filled with moments that one cherishes forever, but according to one videographer, the few candid minutes before the "first look" matter just as much as what’s captured on film. A recent TikTok by Kalli Obray (@kallico), a wedding videographer based in Spanish Fork, Utah, and owner of Kallico Videography, is gaining attention because of what she said before the cameras rolled. In the short clip, Obray can be heard giving one last 'piece of advice' to the groom before he turned to see his bride.

In the video, she says to the groom, "There's one rule for this, and it literally is just to make her feel like a million bucks." Contrary to popular belief, the bride doesn't need a load of fanfare, "She doesn't need you to cry. She doesn't need you to jump up with joy. She just wants you to be yourself and make her feel beautiful," Kalli said. The video has since gone viral, with commenters calling it the pep talk every groom needs. 

@melbee626 commented, "This better be my photographer on my wedding day, lol! I’m gonna send them this lol." @allison_mckensey96 added, "This video just made me think back to my wedding day a few months ago." @gabbychouinard called it a "solid word of advice right there." @nell34 joked, "But I do need him to cry or I will be self-conscious all day." @wakatopatopatopa penned, "Until men figure out how to talk to each other about this stuff, we gotta do it for them."

Speaking with Today, Obray said her advice stems from five years of experience filming weddings and recognizing how heightened emotions can get, especially when cameras are involved. "There's this expectation of, 'Oh my gosh, I have these cameras pointed at me. I feel so spotlighted right now. I feel like I have to react a certain way when I'm already feeling nervous and anxious," she said. She added that the pressure often falls more heavily on grooms. "In the best way, of course, you're obviously excited — but I just feel like there's this expectation on men specifically to respond and react a certain way, whether it's bursting into tears or jumping up and down with joy," she explained.

She also shared that her goal is to shift that energy. "My reason for saying this was truly just to remove that pressure of feeling like there's an expectation, and just remind him, like the core reason that his bride wants to do this. It is truly: One, to feel admired and beautiful, and two, because she loves him and wants to capture his unique reaction to how she looks." For Obray, the best reactions are the most authentic. "It's not a bad thing for men to cry or be overly excited. It's just about feeling like you have to do that if that's not who you are. It's just a good reminder to be yourself and not feel pressure to respond in any specific way," she clarified. Obray noted that starting with that encouragement tends to shift the energy in the room, dispersing an ever-present tension between the couple. She noted, "You can almost see the stress ease off their back a little bit. And so I start all of my first looks that way, and I think it makes a huge difference."

You can follow Kalli Obray (@kallico) on TikTok for more wedding videography content.