She shares that one should keep in mind their financial position when it comes to expensive wedding gifts.
Everyone loves to be a part of a beautiful wedding and wants to make sure that they gift something that will be useful or memorable for the couple. But don't we all get into this dilemma about what that gift should be or how much to spend on it? A wedding planner based in Los Angeles, Melissa Andre–who goes on TikTok by @melissaandre–has all the answers when it comes to wedding gifts, but she calls it the unpopular opinion.
Responding to a question about how much one should spend on a wedding gift, Andre says, "The first thing you're going to think about is your financial position, always. And the next thing is going to be how close you are to the couple." She mentions, "So the average wedding gift in the US is around $100. But you're gonna give whatever you can because the couple getting married shouldn't have an expectation of your gift and they shouldn't be making plans with the money they haven't even received yet."
Andre also shares that she is not in favor of couples who plan their wedding, taking into account the money they will receive from their guests. She says it is "an awful kind of way to talk about your guests." She continues, "Guests are not there to pay for your honeymoon or to pay off your outstanding vendor bills from your wedding." Andre adds that it is like "making plans with other people's money."
The wedding planner also spoke about a recent instance. "I heard someone on this app I commented on their video kind of describe your wedding guest like a restaurant patron and they were like you pay for your meal when you go to a restaurant what's the difference?" she states. "I will tell you the difference. Your guests are not your patrons. They did not choose the location, menu or date. None of it is theirs. They are there to celebrate you."
According to the wedding planner, couples should only rely on what they can afford, and having an expensive wedding is not a compulsion. "You can have a beautiful wedding at any budget, even if it's 'join us for champagne and wedding cake in the garden following the ceremony,'" she emphasizes. "I also compare weddings to hosting the biggest celebration ever at your house and if you were to invite someone over, you would never say, 'Hey, I'm making this for dinner, by the way, this is what I expect you to give me.'" She concludes by saying that if one is in a position to do a "handwritten card and a note, then that's perfect." She captioned the video, "Stitch @lakenbanks_ final answer: the average $100, but you should always base it on what you're comfortable with. You shouldn't strain yourself economically. A thoughtful card is fine if that's where you are."
People in the comment section were divided on what Andre shared. @nicolettetomasetti commented, "Where did the stigma of covering a plate come from? That's how I have been giving gifts, but it's getting more expensive every year." @chrisloydsa said, "Imagine putting the newlyweds in debt if you can't afford to go - don’t, cover your plate plus $ gift." @mzzliy expressed, "'Covering your plate' is so outdated. Whatever you decide to spend on your wedding has absolutely nothing to do with me. Change my mind." @rorocho expressed, "Average cost per head for a city wedding is something upwards of $200 now! so that's my number for gifts." @breeccooks shared, "I had an out-of-town wedding - told my guests that just being there was enough. I didn't get married to cover expenses."