Photographer sent BTS footage 3 years after her wedding. Then she saw her late sister's silent gesture

Memories are a box of sweets. Once opened, you can’t stop at one piece. It takes you down your past life, invigorating old emotions and making you re-live those cherished moments. And if those moments are with someone you lost only a few years back, it becomes even more special. Such is the case with Alex Ostebo, who shared a BTS video with her sister from her wedding, who died two years ago.

Alex, who goes by @ostebograms on Instagram, is a fantasy writer. On April 22, she shared a montage of clips sent to her by her wedding videographer, marking beautiful moments she had shared with Denali, her sister. “This day was so crazy that I never fully realized how beautiful and attentive she was during the whole event. My wedding was the first wedding she had ever been to, and I remember that Denali was a little nervous. Wish I could go back and relive each of these moments. Miss you and love you forever, my sweet Denali,” Ostebo captioned the video.

Denali Ostebo was a captain in the US Army, and she died in her sleep in June 2023, at the age of 29. Her unexpected demise has made a void in Alex’s life that she keeps trying to fill by watching old videos of them together, creating scrapbooks full of their old photos, and then sharing them on Instagram. Research conducted by Lorenz Widmaier, comprising 32 interviews with those who had lost a loved one, 2 interviews with grief experts, 500 photos, 200 screenshots, and some social media content, found people mostly preserving 'candid' shots of their deceased loved one. One among the bereaved, Annette, mentioned, "Snapshots … and these are now beautiful memories; they hang in my living room." These photographs helped them 'recall' the everyday life they shared with those who are no longer around. 

This candid discovery points to what we cherish most in those we love — their self, just as they are, which is exactly what the photographer had handed Alex with the BTS footage. “I spend my days writing Denali’s story. For the past two years, I’ve poured myself into a novel that brings her back to life — if only for a moment — in the hearts of those who read it. Writing about Denali and her journey into the great beyond has been the most meaningful thing I’ve ever done, and I can’t wait to share it with you,” wrote Alex on Instagram.

Comments poured in where people stepped up and shared their part of the story. "One of my best friends' fathers gifted me my wedding video package. At the time, I was so grateful, but when my sister passed away, he sent me all the unused footage and photos, and that gratitude multiplied by millions! My marriage didn’t last, but the memories helped heal my heart. This is so beautiful, I’m so glad you have them," @sheena__lou_clarke wrote. A user, @weingut_wey, even asked for a suggestion: "I’ve been thinking of making a photo album of my friend from high school. She passed away two years ago when her son was only two years old. Do you think this is a good idea?"

You can follow Alex on@ostebograms for daily life content, memories of Denali, and more.