Every child is unique and needs to grow at their own pace. Putting pressure on them takes away from the little joys of this phase of parenting, says Allison.
The path of childhood development is as diverse as the children themselves, with each little one learning and growing in their own unique way. It's a beautiful journey that unfolds at its own pace, and trying to rush it or constantly evaluating it can rob both parents and children of the simple joys that come with those early years. One mom on Tiktok, Allison (@Allison12121)—who has twin toddlers—offers a refreshing perspective on developmental milestones.
She says, "I have twin toddlers. They are three and a half years old and I am a stay-at-home mom. So, we are home together every single day. They experience the same things." Despite her twins experiencing the same environment, activities and upbringing, they've shown striking differences in their development. She elaborates, “One was potty trained a year ago. One is just now learning."
She goes on to add, "One can talk in full sentences and use proper like tense words like before, after, yesterday — words like that to say a full sentence. The other one is just now learning how to put two and three words together to communicate their wants and needs." The reality that her twins, who share the same daily routines, can be at such different developmental stages serves as a powerful reminder that children chart their own courses of growth. This discrepancy, she believes, illustrates the need for parents to relax and not fixate on disparities in reaching milestones.
Alison urges parents to ease the pressure on themselves and their children. Growing up involves mastering various skills like potty training and sleeping through the night, and it's a journey unique to each child according to Allison. She believes that obsessing over developmental timelines takes away from the joy of parenthood, where the endearing mispronunciations of words, like "sammich" instead of "sandwich," should be celebrated, not fretted over. "So, please stop putting so much pressure on yourself and I'm gonna be perfectly honest with you. They all grow up and like their own things. They all grow up and become potty trained. They all grow up and start sleeping through the night," she says.
She adds that one might as well stop putting pressure on the kids too. "Stop putting so much pressure on yourself because it quite literally takes away from the enjoyment of parenthood and makes you feel like you're on a ticking time clock with a checklist with your own child," she concluded. Childhood should be a time of exploration, curiosity and wonder, not a checklist of achievements. Agreeing with her, @mrs.duhoneybadger shared: "My twins are 6 months and it’s wild how different they learn already. Their daily routines are identical. It’s wild." After all, there is quite literally nothing cuter than an 18-month-old who says "lellow" instead of "yellow" and you might miss it if you’re concerned over the pronunciation.
As Allison points out, parenthood should be a journey filled with wonder and delight, not a race to meet predetermined benchmarks. Her video helped a lot of other moms feel better about their children's pace. @nicolebronson said, "I needed this as a fellow twin momma," while another mother of twins, @assmith925 thanked her profusely saying, "I am a mama of twins and needed to hear this SO BADLY. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you."