Taking to Reddit's r/tifu community, a TSA agent revealed the embarrassing series of events that led to him scoring a date with his girlfriend of one year.
Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I am a sucker for all kinds of love stories. From the classic highschool romance to the eternal love at first sights to unexpected first meetings that turn into lifelong relationships, I could spend hours listening to couples talk about how they met. However, since I can't simply go around asking people how they met the love of their lives, the next best thing is the internet's rich reserve of love stories. Recently, I came across one so unpredictable and hilariously embarrassing that it might just be my all-time favorite now.
Taking to Reddit's r/tifu community, a TSA agent revealed the embarrassing series of events that led to him scoring a date with his girlfriend of one year. u/tifuthrowawayTSA4 wrote, "A little over a year ago, during the week leading up to Christmas, we had some really bad weather that delayed all the flights. I volunteered to stay late so that my coworkers could go home to their families. Most of the work was done anyway, so it was mostly just standing around waiting for the odd latecomer. I was working the AIT (the space tube thingy), when three passengers came up together, a middle-aged man, a middle-aged woman, and a teenage boy. I figure it's a family traveling together for the holidays, and go about my work."
He continued, "Mom goes through, all is fine. Dad goes through, all is fine. Kid comes up, I get a good look at him. Hoodie, sweatpants, shortish hair, smooth face. I figure he's about 13, maybe 14. I hit the button, direct him to wait with me for a moment, and then gesture to the screen, which lit up on his chest area. I tell him that I have to pat that area down. He's a little nervous, I figure that because he's so young, this is probably his first time getting a pat-down, but he says okay, and I start the patdown."
Little did he know that what he believed to be routine pat-down would end up being the start of an epic love story. "I do the left side of the chest and feel some moob, which catches me off guard because he didn't look chubby at all. I move to the right side of the chest, read what's on the hoodie, and it all clicks at once. The hoodie has the name of the local college on it. This is an adult, not a child. He's not wearing sweatpants, *she* is wearing yoga pants. She doesn't even know the couple that just came through."
Imagine his horror upon realizing that he just accidentally groped a woman. "I look at her face, which is bright red, my hand is still on her boob, and I pull it back like I just got bit by a snake. I immediately call for my supervisor, who comes over and asks what's wrong, and I explain the situation to her. My supervisor covers her mouth, and at first, I thought she was absolutely mortified, but then I realized she's trying not to laugh. She takes a minute to pull herself together, tells me to go take a break, and finishes screening the passenger herself," the TSA agent continued.
"Once that was done, I apologize to the passenger, she tells me it's fine, that it wasn't the first time she was mistaken for a boy, and she probably should have said something before I started touching her. I leave her alone, and go talk to my supervisor to figure out exactly how fired I am. She tells me to calm down, that it was just an honest mistake, and that she has my back if the passenger files an official complaint, but that probably won't happen, and I shouldn't be worried. That reassured me a little, but I still groped a woman and ruined Christmas, so I feel like an absolute monster," he revealed.
And this is where this story graduates from an everyday f*cked-up story to a one fit for the romcom hall of fame. "I tell her that I'm getting some dinner, and offer to get her some food as well. After all, I already got to second base, I think it's only fair that I buy her dinner. She agrees, and we go to one of the restaurants that are open late, get some food, and start eating. She said she gets mistaken for a boy a lot, and it's not a big deal. I told her about how I had long hair and no beard in college, and at the gym, people would frequently walk into the men's bathroom, see me, and do a double-take to make sure they didn't walk into the ladies' room," he wrote.
"She laughed, and we ended up talking for a few hours before I finally told her that I had to get home, and apologized again for the accidental molestation. She said that all is forgiven if I promise to take her on a real date when she gets back. I agreed, she gave me her phone number, and I went home, and immediately started texting her. We kept talking until her flight finally left, and when she got back I picked her up at the airport, and a few days later took her on that date that I promised her. We just celebrated our one year anniversary. She has long hair now," the hero of our story concluded. Tell me this can't be the greatest Hollywood romcom of all time!