Woman's beautiful open letter to troll calling her ‘ugly, fat old cow’ is what compassionate power looks like

The internet was created as a platform to share and express, to connect and learn, not to pull down and harm. A mom and author named Tova Leigh shared a post on January 6 with an open letter, responding to a troll who made a ruthless remark on one of her posts. Leigh had shared a glimpse of herself in a bikini as a casual post, and a troll commented on it, calling her an “ugly, fat cow.” Leigh didn't start a thread of abuse and disrespect them back, nor did she ridicule him in any way. Instead, she wrote him an open letter, full of grace, power, and compassion, sharing a message of learning and understanding. A rare sight indeed.

Leigh revealed that she was curious about why a person would say something so hurtful, and so she went to the person’s profile to understand more about him. “You were surrounded by your beautiful grandchildren — one of them a little girl,” she pointed out. She only had one thought on her mind — how the little girl would feel if she learned that her grandpa was trolling and disrespecting women and strangers online. The focus of her letter was not on herself or the remark but rather the mindset. “I want to be clear: your words did not hurt me,” Leigh wrote. She further mentioned that the man’s words held no value to her since she didn’t know who he was, and she had already learned how to be comfortable in her own skin.

The mom shared another powerful reason why the remarks didn’t destroy her. “They didn’t hurt me because I’ve learned that cruelty rarely comes from strength — it usually reveals something unresolved within the person offering it.” Instead of lashing out at the bully, she reassured him. She pointed out that his words “reminded me why I do the work I do.” As a mother of girls herself, she knew how important it was for a woman to be happy with her own body first. “I never want my daughters to believe that a man’s opinion of their bodies, their age, or the way they choose to live should make them smaller — physically, emotionally, or otherwise,” she confidently wrote.

Leigh added that she was not interested in taking down the post, hiding, or just ignoring the comment. She chose to say something, something that wouldn’t destroy but that would hint at change. “I stand here — visible, unapologetic, celebrating the woman I am, in the body I have,” Leigh remarked, with a request for her bully. “I hope my daughters, your granddaughter, and any woman who has ever been told to take up less space hears this clearly: No. Simply no,” the mom confidently said. Women are constantly made the center of attention on the internet, good or bad, mainly because of their appearances. For many, the case is the latter; they are trolled and bullied endlessly for not having hourglass figures and the perfect, flawless skin and complexion.

According to eSafety, women are more likely than men to be targets of abuse online. Another report revealed that one in three women from a surveyed group is abused or harassed online in some way or another, and bullying is one of them. 41% of women who experienced abuse online suffered from mental health issues, and 35% lost their confidence and self-esteem. According to the National Organization for Women, the most frequent type of online abuse faced by American women was cyberbullying, followed by sexual harassment and trolling. Not all women can keep ignoring or fighting back, and the repercussions of even one remark are disturbing and cruel.

In her conclusion, Leigh wished the man well and only hoped he would choose better in the future. She showed exemplary power with her words of compassion, and people applauded her for it. Lynda Voyle wrote, “I am more confident about myself and who I am now because of women like you. Thank you.” Crafty Claire added, “Your grace, kindness, and humanity shine through your words and set an example for all females to live by.” 

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