Trans woman's boyfriend has powerful response to those questioning their relationship

Editor's note: This article was originally published on April 8, 2021. It has since been updated.

Jade Mcfarlane is a transwoman and she makes comedic sketches on TikTok along with her boyfriend, Tyler. Jade is constantly targeted on the platform, bombarded with negative comments, and consciously misgendered. While Jade tries to block it all out as she goes about her life, one particular comment bothered her. Someone commented on one of her videos that she was keeping her identity a secret from Tyler, adding that he wouldn't be in a relationship with her if he knew she was trans. Jade proceeded to ask her boyfriend about it and posted a video. 

The video shows Tyler resting his head on her as she asks him the question. Without skipping a beat, he responds, "Yeah. I know that you're a perfect, beautiful woman, and you always have been." Jade obviously knew that but she still choked up as he said it. He then realizes it might be one of the comments she read on her page. He then speaks directly to the camera and explains that it's offensive to suggest he would love her any less if he just found out she was trans. "First off, I want to say trans women are real women," said Tyler. "They're completely valid in their femininity. And the fact that people think that just because someone's trans and I found out — or anyone found out that their significant other is trans — that [this] would take away or diminish the love they have for them, [it's] completely disgusting to me."

He then slammed those attacking Jade over her identity. "People take out their own insecurities and things they're worried about from their past, and try to apply it to this situation — [it's] disgusting," said Tyler. "Just because you're unhappy in life doesn't mean we need to be, too." The video has been liked by more than 1.5 million people. The responses to the video have been overwhelmingly positive with many voicing their support for Jade and the couple.

Jade spoke to BuzzFeed about the frequent online attacks she is subjected to. "I receive negative comments on a daily basis, consisting of people misgendering me and telling me how what I’m doing with my life is wrong and a mistake. I wish people would realize how one rude comment can stick with someone forever and create new insecurities." Jade said she preferred to ignore most of the hateful comments on her page and added that most of those who hated on her was doing so only because they "were uneducated or someone who’s going through a lot." She felt they were attacking her to make them feel better about themselves.

"I usually don’t go through my comments anymore. ... I won’t feel bad about myself because of what others think," said Jade. "There’s absolutely no point when I could be happy because what really matters is [what I] think about myself." The couple is hoping to inspire other couples in similar relationships and to let them know that everyone deserves to be loved and cared for.

The hateful comment also echoed JK Rowling’s transphobic remarks from 202 when she refused to accept trans women as women. Daniel Radcliffe, who played the role of Harry Potter, from the series she penned, spoke up for the trans community. “Transgender women are women. Any statement to the contrary erases the identity and dignity of transgender people and goes against all advice given by professional health care associations who have far more expertise on this subject matter than either Jo or I,” said the actor in a statement to Trevor Project.

He also pointed out stats that showed that denying their identity led to violence. According to the Trevor Project, 78 percent of transgender and non-binary youth were subject to discrimination due to their gender identity. “It’s clear that we need to do more to support transgender and non-binary people, not invalidate their identities, and not cause further harm,” he added. 

If you're trans and are being subjected to abuse, or need any help, please reach out to TRANS LIFELINE at 877-330-6366.